Start The Day With Laughter!!!

By sam444 - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, February 19, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groan!

My girlfriend and I are trying this whole "long distance relationship" thing. I have to stay 100 feet away from her at all times. Also, the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend. Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was... Sign in to see full entry.

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Wednesday, February 18, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groan!

A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said, “Why are these penguins in your truck?” The man replied, “These are my penguins. They belong to me.” “You need to take them to the zoo,” the policeman said. The next day, the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by sam444 at 6:35 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, February 17, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groan!

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by sam444 at 7:29 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, February 16, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groan!

Why did the man join the Navy out of spite? Because he was a petty officer. Why does the Navy want to recruit more women? To keep the ocean from being a total buoys club. What military branch is fond of horses? The Neigh-vy. Why couldn’t the sailors play cards? The captain was sitting on the deck.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by sam444 at 7:54 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, February 15, 2026

I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? With any luck, right after he finishes college. ############## Do I have to have a baby shower? Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly. ###################### Woman: “Should I have a baby after 35?” OB/GYN: “No, 35 children is enough.”... Sign in to see full entry.

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Friday, February 13, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groan! This Fits Today In Politics!

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by sam444 at 6:18 PM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, February 12, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groan!

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by sam444 at 6:21 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, February 11, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groan!

An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid. Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope. Sign in to see full entry.

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Tuesday, February 10, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groan!

How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool. Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player? Because to them, love means nothing. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for the fresh prints. Do I know any jokes about sodium? Na. If you have six oranges in... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by sam444 at 5:02 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, February 9, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groan!

If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done. Archaeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it. To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you—you have my Word. I was raised as an only... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by sam444 at 4:40 PM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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