Start The Day With Laughter!!!

By sam444 - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, September 24, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

You can't get on the same page with someone who has a different book. My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention! When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way. Diet Day #1 - I removed... Sign in to see full entry.

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Wednesday, September 23, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too. I got gas for $1.39 today. Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell. Subway is definitely the healthiest fast food available because they make you get out of the car.... Sign in to see full entry.

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Monday, September 21, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was... Sign in to see full entry.

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Saturday, September 19, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected. My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician. The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day. Politics is the art of looking for trouble,... Sign in to see full entry.

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Friday, September 18, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

Sign at the Urologist's office: URINE good hands. When someone asks me if I'm seeing anyone, I automatically assume they're talking about a psychiatrist. My doctors office has two doctors on call at all times. Is that considered a pair a docs. When an employment application asks who is to be... Sign in to see full entry.

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Thursday, September 17, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

Always identify who to blame in an emergency. With great power comes a great electricity bill. Watt a powerfull message. Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button. An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true. Don't let your worries get the best... Sign in to see full entry.

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Wednesday, September 16, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney. You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left. Scientists say the universe is... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by sam444 at 7:32 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, September 15, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me. Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap. I named my dog 6 miles so... Sign in to see full entry.

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Monday, September 14, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. A guy goes to a club; the bouncer stops him. "No tie, no entry." He walks back to his car to find a tie. All he found were jumper cables so he puts them around his neck like... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by sam444 at 5:13 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, September 13, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

I would tell you my autumn joke but you probably wouldn't fall for it. Don't spell part backwards. It's a trap. A man was found guilty of overusing commas. The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence. People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by sam444 at 12:44 PM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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