Saturday, July 4, 2026
A family affair A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s... Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, July 3, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
Hit it on the head The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. The blacksmith instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.” The apprentice did just as he was told.... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, July 2, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
Courier problems What happens when you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN? They get really upset. – @dadsaysjokes Long time coming “Under quarantine, marijuana is legal and haircuts are against the law. It took half a century, but hippies finally won.” – Ruth Buzzi, actor Trivial pursuits “My... Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, July 1, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
Tempting fate In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks. God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.” With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. Since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants,... Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, June 30, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
Say cheese Two weeks after I had photos taken of my baby, I returned to the studio to view the pictures on a colour monitor. The photographer started describing the merits of each photo, but as he went through the set, he rattled off his sales pitch so quickly that I couldn’t get a word in. Finally,... Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, June 29, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
Down to size During the pandemic, my two granddaughters—six and eight years old—were being home-schooled by their mom. One day, the eight-year-old had a spelling bee with her sister. “Spell ‘elephant,'” the older one said. “Let her spell small animals, not big ones,” said her mom. The older sister... Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, June 28, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
Fishing rink A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!” He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!” He nervously looks up... Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, June 26, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
You were warned “Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach, and now I’m the proud owner of aisle seven.” – @domesticgoddss Facing the consequences A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, “How long have you been wearing that bra?” The friend replies, “Ever since my wife... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, June 25, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
Panicking poodle A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I’m as jittery as a cat.” “Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” suggests the collie. “I can’t,”... Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, June 24, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
Talking dog for sale A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq.... Sign in to see full entry.