Start The Day With Laughter!!!

By sam444 - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, October 2, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

Punny Dad Jokes My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve." How do cows stay up to date? They read the Moo-spaper. What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire. I hate my... Sign in to see full entry.

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Thursday, October 1, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

Punny Dad Jokes What does a baby computer call his father? Data. After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music? Because he had a ton of sick beets. I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system. My friend was showing me his tool shed and... Sign in to see full entry.

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Wednesday, September 30, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

The Body Swap A husband complained every evening that his wife did nothing all day while he worked a grueling job. One night, a magical entity granted his wish to switch bodies for 24 hours. He spent the entire next day feeding a screaming infant, scrubbing burnt oatmeal off the stove, breaking up... Sign in to see full entry.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

The Silent Treatment A couple was giving each other the silent treatment after a massive argument. Knowing he had an early morning flight, the husband wrote a note on a piece of paper: "Please wake me up at 5:00 a.m." and left it where his wife would see it. He woke up the next day and saw the clock... Sign in to see full entry.

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Sunday, September 27, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

Beauty One Liners! Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician. You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but... Sign in to see full entry.

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Saturday, September 26, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

Kid one liners! A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months. I saw a sign that said "Watch for... Sign in to see full entry.

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Friday, September 25, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

I'm totally corn-fused by this weather. Keep calm and cider on. I don't be-leaf my eyes I open a gym called "Resolutions", it has gym equipment for the first two weeks, then it becomes a bar. I tried to find a pun about carpentry, but nothing wood work. When someone asks me if I'm seeing anyone, I... Sign in to see full entry.

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Thursday, September 24, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

You can't get on the same page with someone who has a different book. My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention! When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way. Diet Day #1 - I removed... Sign in to see full entry.

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Wednesday, September 23, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too. I got gas for $1.39 today. Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell. Subway is definitely the healthiest fast food available because they make you get out of the car.... Sign in to see full entry.

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Monday, September 21, 2026

Here's Your Daily Groaner!

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was... Sign in to see full entry.

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