Divorce Therapy

Continuation of episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 -specially 7- (links will open in a new window). Every time I chatted with George, I felt pretty guilty. I mean, I still wasn't divorced, the papers hadn't been signed and here I was, constantly flirting with another guy. I tried toning it down, not only for the guilty feelings but because I didn't want to lead him on more than I already was. He seemed to be soooo into me and while I was into him too, I had my doubts. I knew it wasn't wise to get... Sign in to see full entry.

Continuation of episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 (links will open in a new window). George is a guy I met over six years ago before I left South America. I was about to move to USA so we just flirted. We both knew it would be a stupid idea to start anything right before I was about to leave. That didn't stop us, though, from sharing a kiss the night before my flight. I was at a online internet cafe with my best friend setting up an email account for her so we could stay in touch cheaply. He popped... Sign in to see full entry.

So I am going to my Phychologist today and I have so many issues I don't even know where to start. We have spoken of my background and my divorce but I think that we need to buckle down and start on the tough stuff. So these are my issues (I think). No self esteem. Temper issues (only with people very close to me that frustrate me beyond endurance). Always pick the wrong guy. Anxiety. Often negative. Get frustrated easily (not that I always blow up about it). Mommy dearest issues (not terrible... Sign in to see full entry.

Apparently, I am not the only woman who is stubborn or has has to start over several times in my family. My aunt Sue told me that it wasn't something I should be ashamed of. Should I believe this? When she told me about how we come from pioneer women and I have a very strong combination in my blood, I chuckled and said, "Oh, I guess I am doomed." "Remember, it is not something to be ashamed of." Tim didn't like it that I was strong and opinionated. I weakened by his side. Now that I am free... Sign in to see full entry.

Miracuously, my Grandma pulled through. The doctors didn't expect her to live long, they thought she was going to die from congestive heart failure. She didn't, she survived. We don't know how it is going to proceed but there is now hope. She will be released from the hospital soon and will go to a rehabilitation center. We don't know how full is her recovery but we all go to see her. I hope I can see her again before anything happens. Thank you for your kind words: Erato2,.Dave., MandaLee,... Sign in to see full entry.

Yesterday afternoon one of my aunts called my dad to inform him that my grandmother was in the hospital. She has very bad chronic pain so she didn't even realize she had a heart attack. The only symptom was that she was throwing up. The put a catheter on her and a stint after they saw her artery was clogged. Test showed her heart is extremely damaged. They don't even want to operate because the damage is too massive. She is over 80 and only has lung and a half. She has been suffering from a... Sign in to see full entry.

Continuation of episodes 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 (links will open in a new window). Once we decided we were going to get divorced, things were pretty good for a while. Sure, I was sleeping on my parent's living room sofa bed, had no job, no money, no car and no husband but at least I was out of the nightmare and Tim and I were actually talking for the first time. Unfortunately, as soon as we started talking details, everything went down. I emailed him telling him we should probably get a lawyer and he... Sign in to see full entry.

I was born and raised in South America and moved to the States when I was 17. My dad was born in USA and my mom is Latina. My dad moved over there and they got married. When I was about to graduate, though, they decided that having a degree from USA would boost my chances of having a "better" life over there. The plan was for me to go study, and come back. Well, it didn't work that way. By the time I came back I was hooked and I wanted to live in the great USA. My brother was about to graduate... Sign in to see full entry.

This was actually a great weekend, and I am feeling a lot more positive this morning. Yaii for mood upswings! First of all, I received a phone call from a friend that I met one of the times Tom and I moved. She moved to my city too but even though I've been here for over two months, we have only talked a few times and haven't seen each other despite my many efforts to meet up. She has been going through a lot. Poor girl came from cuba in a small boat from the Bahamas with only the clothes she... Sign in to see full entry.

Continuation of episodes 1, 2 and 3 and 4 (links will open in a new window). I spent that night alone in my friend's home, they gave me the girl's room. That night I could barely sleep and even Piki was restless. I ended up waking up very very early and spending some time with him in the backyard. I called my parents after I deemed it a decent hour and talked to them for quite a while. For the first time I told someone else the story of Tim's traumatic "rape" * and it sounded ridiculous to my... Sign in to see full entry.

Ever since I made the decision to separate from and ultimately divorce Tim, I've gone through phases. For a while I felt very optimistic. I felt free and relieved and started imagining what it would be like to start dating again and whatnot. I wanted to stay friends with Tim. I didn't want to remember him with bitterness and I didn't want him to remember me bitterly either. However, it is difficult to go through the divorce process unscathed and it really hurts that Tim thinks so little of me... Sign in to see full entry.

I have a confession to make. Something that makes me feel awful. Sure, Tim did a lot of very messed up stuff, and I have a lot of "reasons" and "justifications" but what I did was wrong. I am very ashamed and it is something I haven't even starting talking to my current Phycologist about. I would hit Tim. I was so frustrated and my emotions were so out of control that I would sometimes kick him under the table, or hit his arm or push him. I would do it when I would feel threatened or extremely... Sign in to see full entry.

This is a continuation of the tale started in previous blogs. If you want to, read parts 1, 2 and 3 first (links will open in a new window). This will be a long post, so brace yourself... I ran to the computer and searched for tickets back home. I made sure that I was able to take Piki with me, of course. After I had the tickets safely printed, I called one of the only friends I had in the city. She's in her late 30's, married and has a teenager girl. I told her I needed to spend the night... Sign in to see full entry.

Before I continue the story of my flight from "prison", I must tell what happened about a month before that, probably around May... Lately, Tim had been going out late at night quite often. He would either go with some friends to drink or to play pool or to watch a fight or play poker. Sometimes he would go by himself to the gym or to play a poker "tournament". Sure, I didn't like it but the more I told him I didn't like it, the more he would do it. Besides, despite the fact that we had so many... Sign in to see full entry.

First of all, the only way not to get divorced is not to get married in the first place, since there are no guaranties in this life. The same funny, fit guy that used to give you flowers and gallantly waited for you until you were ready to go out might very well turn into the sarcastic, obese guy that will give you gonorrhea * and will beep at you if you take longer than 45 seconds to leave the house. So here are the tips about how not to end up like me mostly, everything that I did wrong in my... Sign in to see full entry.