Comments on Is a big age Difference an Obstacle for Friendship?

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Re: jacenta
As with most things in life, balance is the key. 

posted by jacentaOld on October 5, 2007 at 1:44 PM | link to this | reply

jacenta
I guess in this case the problem stems from the fact that she is still technically a child in many ways. My Psychologists told me to be careful because of my tendencies to get too close and the fact she has been through a lot.

posted by le_divorcee on October 5, 2007 at 1:24 PM | link to this | reply

le_divorcee
Hi le_divorcee.  Lots of my friends are young enough that I could be their mother. Come to think of it, they teasingly call me "Mom" a lot. Friendship is not confined to like ages at all. My friends include a lot of seniors, too. 

posted by jacentaOld on October 5, 2007 at 1:22 PM | link to this | reply

opheliablue
Most of my friends have been younger, I guess I am still a teenager mentally. This girl has a lot of my same problems, divorce, "crazy" mom, LOL. It's so cool to find out that I am not the only one that has friends with big age differences. When I was 18 I had a friend that was 12 and she was very cool.

posted by le_divorcee on September 13, 2007 at 7:30 AM | link to this | reply

Pat_B
I've had the same experience. I definitely feel better with people I have things in common with.

posted by le_divorcee on September 13, 2007 at 7:28 AM | link to this | reply

Most of the people I get on best with are younger than me..

..because of my circumstances, I'm mostly talking about online friends, although a few have moved past that to being people I talk on the phone to and will definitely meet up with when we can.  My 'best' friend is over 10 years younger than me.. my other closest friend is only 21 (I'm 38) and I first got to know her when she was 18.  Most of my friends seem to be in their early-mid 20s and most of them are amazed when they find out I'm SO OLD :P I think I'm mentally in my 20s.

I really think things like common interests, how you can interact with each other, etc. are so much more meaningful than actual ages.  Most of my friends, I met because we were interested in the same things and we had similar 'problems' and so on - and actual age has really never come into it.

Funny, cos when I was a teenager and younger, my friends and the people I always got on better with were always older than me, usually in their 30s.

posted by opheliablue on September 13, 2007 at 1:26 AM | link to this | reply

chronological age is not as important as common experience or interests.
When I meet someone my age who is boring as cold oatmeal, there's nothing but polite non conversation. I like hanging around with someone who thinks.

posted by Pat_B on September 12, 2007 at 6:43 AM | link to this | reply

Le divorce

posted by richinstore on September 12, 2007 at 6:19 AM | link to this | reply

Re: White_Elephant
yes very multicultural ... considering that I'm from this tiny tiny island in the middle of the Mediterranean - but imo real friendship transcends anything - be it age, sex, race, religion, political views, whatever ....

posted by White_Elephant on September 11, 2007 at 11:22 PM | link to this | reply

Re: Damond

Absolutely, I think it should be the same online and inperson.  Like I said one of those ladies was online and the other in person.  I am good friends with both of them.

Damon

posted by Damond on September 11, 2007 at 10:10 PM | link to this | reply

White_Elephant
Korean, huh? That's pretty multicultural.

posted by le_divorcee on September 11, 2007 at 9:04 AM | link to this | reply

don't think age is an issue ...
I don't think age is an issue in friendship ... I've got friends who I consider "real" friends that are younger than me, live in another country and I only get to see them once in a while due to the distance issue but I think it's just amazing when you find someone who's on the same wavelength as you (maybe it's just me - but this doesn't happen very often for me  so I really value this type of friendship when it comes along) for e.g. got a good friend of mine who's Korean who I met while at Uni - younger than me and we get along just fine!!! I always tell her she's like a twin sister to me - we are so alike it's creepy ...

I'll leave you with this quote by Benjamin Franklin which I really like: "Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing" ...


 


posted by White_Elephant on September 11, 2007 at 8:29 AM | link to this | reply

Damond
When I was into writing fanfiction and started chatting online I made a lot of friends of all ages, I guess it shouldn't be any different in real life, right?

posted by le_divorcee on September 11, 2007 at 8:25 AM | link to this | reply

riri0322
That sounds almost poetic...

posted by le_divorcee on September 11, 2007 at 8:24 AM | link to this | reply

Matie
Having a variaty of friends is the best, they all have something to offer, right?

posted by le_divorcee on September 11, 2007 at 8:04 AM | link to this | reply

proc
Thanks for your wisdom

posted by le_divorcee on September 11, 2007 at 8:03 AM | link to this | reply

brianne_amai
I hope so!

posted by le_divorcee on September 11, 2007 at 8:03 AM | link to this | reply

I don't think it is weird at all.

I don't think it is weird at all.  I have a friend on the west coast that I met online  a few years ago; she was 14, and I was 56 we became good friends and still are.  I am now 61 she is 19.  We have never met in person, but are still good friends.

I have another friend that I met while going to college she is in her 40s and we are very close friends.  We don't see each other very often, but we each consider the other a best friend.

Damon

posted by Damond on September 11, 2007 at 2:23 AM | link to this | reply

age is irrelevant the older we become

posted by riri0322 on September 10, 2007 at 7:56 PM | link to this | reply

Re: Soul_Builder101
Hey! This meant the heart, not other appendages! LOL

posted by Soul_Builder101 on September 10, 2007 at 6:21 PM | link to this | reply

I had befriended both younger and older people
I guess I'm multigenerational LOL

posted by Matie on September 10, 2007 at 5:58 PM | link to this | reply

I think when like- souls meet their chronological ages have
nothing to do with the communion.  Like when I read you I dont think 26.  I think adult woman in pain going through a deeply distressing life experience.  Ive never been divorced but can still empathise with the human experiences of despair,disappointment,betrayal,loss etc  So its not how long you've lived that creates understanding and oneness. its the wisdom of the spirit.  I have friends,darling friends in their twenties and the oldest is 85.  She makes me laugh when she calls me a kid at 51.  We can spend hours together and not stop talking.

posted by proc on September 10, 2007 at 3:07 PM | link to this | reply

Re: brianne_amai
then it sounds like you were meant to be friends!  Even if it turns out to be a short friendship, or a lifelong friendship, I hope it eases you through your situations.

posted by brianne_amai on September 10, 2007 at 1:13 PM | link to this | reply

brianne_amai
She has adapted so well to her situation, and I definitely need a friend too!

posted by le_divorcee on September 10, 2007 at 11:58 AM | link to this | reply

Soul_Builder101
Bosom buddies, eh? LOL

posted by le_divorcee on September 10, 2007 at 11:57 AM | link to this | reply

It's not weird at all
My best friend is 43, and I'm 28.  I've always gotten along well with people older than me.  Everyone comes into our lives for a reason.  She sounds like she could really use a friend right now. 

posted by brianne_amai on September 10, 2007 at 11:52 AM | link to this | reply

Le Divorce
I pretty much have few bosom buddies. I met one on the weekend and I was happy to meet a kindred soul. Acquaintances, I detach from after pleasant tete a tete's, until we meet again!

posted by Soul_Builder101 on September 10, 2007 at 11:04 AM | link to this | reply

JMO_
Cool.

posted by le_divorcee on September 10, 2007 at 8:49 AM | link to this | reply

Troosha
The oldest man I ever dated was 10 years older than me, but he was traumatized about that, which I thought was extremely RETARDED. Then I dated a guy one year younger than me and he was retarted too, LOL.

posted by le_divorcee on September 10, 2007 at 8:48 AM | link to this | reply

12 years is nothing...

posted by JMO_ on September 10, 2007 at 8:29 AM | link to this | reply

Le
As Fine said friendships are often ageless. When it came to dating, I used to date men considerably older than me.  I found them fascinating and with a great deal more to say than the men my age at the time.  I think an 18 year spread was the biggest gap but I never thought of that man in terms of his age - only of his fine character and loving heart. 

posted by Troosha on September 10, 2007 at 8:10 AM | link to this | reply

You really think so?
I think I am starting to see the light, LOL.

posted by le_divorcee on September 10, 2007 at 7:55 AM | link to this | reply

In my thirties...
I have a dear friend in her early 20's, another dear friend in her late 70's.  Friendship I think transcends age.

posted by FineYoungSinger on September 10, 2007 at 7:30 AM | link to this | reply