Divorce Therapy

My Psychologist asked me to write out a list for him. A list of things I would like to change about myself. Wow, where to start? I had written a similar list in a blog a while ago but I guess I gotta look at it again… Hmmm, let me see, ok, here it is. No self esteem. Temper issues (only with people very close to me that frustrate me beyond endurance). Always pick the wrong guy. Anxiety. Often negative. Get frustrated easily (not that I always blow up about it). Mommy dearest issues (not terrible... Sign in to see full entry.

I keep telling myself this, day after day but it's not so easy. There are so many factors involved. I was married and now I was thrust back into a single life again and I've been having a really hard time adapting. Does this make me pathetic? These are the reasons why sometimes I really wish I was still married: Having someone to sleep with. The possibility of having children. Having my own home. Sex. Going out during the weekend on a date but not have to worry about how to act. Dancing. Sex.... Sign in to see full entry.

I sent George (I wrote about him before, Part 1 and Part 2 ) the “breakup email” on August 21. He never replied. He sent me a message from facebook.com for me to join but I didn’t reply to that, it wasn’t a personal email so I thought he could have sent it by mistake because my email was still in his contacts or something. This morning I come in to work and I receive this message before finding out about my divorce, man what an emotional day. I don’t know what to do. Should I reply, and if I do,... Sign in to see full entry.

Tim went to court this morning. I am officially a divorcee. Everything went well. It was in and out, very quick. The papers I prepared passed the test and even Tim told me, "Mad props." Why should it make me feel good, I don't know, but it did. I started crying like a baby right in the office and I really wasn't expecting that reaction out of myself. It was just like when I was in my big white dress ready to go into the church to get married to the man I loved and I just burst out crying. It's... Sign in to see full entry.

I might be divorced today... Tim was supposed to go this morning to court. He didn't have an appointment, you can go whenever your waiting time is up, and we had spoken about it on Thursday and he had said he would go Monday. This is how our latest conversation went. It started with texts and then became a phone conversation. I am L, he is T Text from L: Did you go to court today? Text from T: No, I told you I was going on Tuesday. What, are you engaged or something? j/k Text from L: I thought... Sign in to see full entry.

Thankfully, I had another busy weekend. There isn't anything more depressing that having nothing to do during the weekend, specially since I was used to going out with Tim all the time. One thing I can say about our marriage is that it was never boring. Sunday afternoon my parents and I were invited to Lunch by a family in our church. Another couple was also invited and there are a lot of them so it was a full house. Funny thing was that I used to have the biggest crush on one of their sons. I... Sign in to see full entry.

Again, I know I am being silly but what can I say, it's who I am. Lately, I've been feeling that perhaps my chances in the dating "market" will be diminished considerably by the fact I am divorced. I know that I once dated a divorced guy and it didn't bother me much, but perhaps guys are more sensitive about it. Baggage can be annoying. I guess I feel like I'm a blouse in the Goodwill store instead of a brand new one in the mall... Therefore, I wanted to ask the male opinion, here in Blogit. How... Sign in to see full entry.

I was thinking the other day about dating since sooner or later I will start dating again. I am kind of exciting about it. Even though I've met a lot of frogs, I have had a lot of fun with several guys and even though it didn't work, most of them contributed a lot to my life and are great guys. I was telling Lisa some of my adventures in dating and she pointed out the variety of races and countries I've dated. I was married to one and engaged to another -that's another very long story. These are... Sign in to see full entry.

Ever since I decided to separate and ultimately divorce Tim, I have done everything in my power and beyond to have a good relationship with him. I have taken care of all the divorce paperwork, I call him when I receive his bills because he hasn't changed them to his name and the list goes on. So far, he hasn't done me any favors at all. He was supposed to send the first payment for our debts on September but since we still owed a little bit of taxes I am supposed to pay for half of that. When I... Sign in to see full entry.

The last six months before I left California were just terrible health wise -among other ways. I got into two car accidents one after the other so I had barely finished recuperating from one when BAM, my back was all messed up. I got a urinary tract infection, like three different viruses and I kept throwing up all the time with no good physical reason. I always had headaches and was constantly tired. I had several allergy attacks that took me to the hospital since I could barely breathe. Before... Sign in to see full entry.

Last night I had to call Tim because I received an electricity bill that said it was going to get disconnected in our former home -now just his- if he didn't pay ASAP. It's the second time this happens and I should just have let it get disconnected. It would have been funny, with his parents still there and all. In any case, all of a sudden we got into a weird ass conversation that freaked me out a bit. Here is more less how it went. He is T, I am L. T: So... how is it going? L: Good. T:... Sign in to see full entry.

Wow, what a busy weekend. Saturday I ran errands and rested a bit. Sunday I hanged out with my new best buddy! I mentioned her in a previous blog: Is a big age Difference an Obstacle for Friendship? We have so much in common it's not even funny. We both like to write, have been through divorces (her mom's had two), have sort of controlling moms (even though mine has improved and her is much, much worse), like all the girly stuff like makeup and all that, have self esteem issues (although hers... Sign in to see full entry.

Truth is, all married couples I know have their own tribulations and I have been wondering lately, should I even get married again? Is it really worth it? It might be too soon to be even thinking about that but marriage and divorce is in my mind and thus, that's where my thoughts lead to. I've been having a good time being single lately. I am not dating yet and I don't have a huge social life or anything. I am just resting really. It's like I woke up from a two year and eight month nightmare and... Sign in to see full entry.

It's been a while since Tim and I filed the divorce petition and I was getting a bit worried. I thought Tim was supposed to receive an appointment to see the judge. I called the court yesterday and was informed that Tim can go at any time he wants after the waiting period is over. I called Tim yesterday and let him know that I will be sending him the final decree and everything else he needs (directions how to get there, two self addressed envelopes and three copies of the decree) so there are... Sign in to see full entry.

Continuation of episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 (links will open in a new window). Everything was set up to sign the petition. I set it up so that he would be the petitioner and then I would sign a waiver so I didn't have to travel back to go to court. I wanted to start looking for work, I just wanted to start living as soon as possible. The deal was 25% of the profits of the future sale of our house (in my name) and $100 monthly to cover the $12,000 debt (in my name). I am in the process of... Sign in to see full entry.