Thinking Out Loud.

By CunningLinguist - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Opinion

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Ground Control to Major Screw-Up

What's with NASA? I think that stands for Not As Smart Anymore. We spent like one and a half Billion Dollars (said like Dr. Evil) fixing the problem that prevented the last takeoff and dammed if the same problem didn't turn up again. What kind of 'rocket scientists' do we have working on this?! I... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 3:34 PM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Phony Sony Throwin' DJ Dogs a Bone

Yeah folks, you heard it here first... well, you heard it here eventually. Sony has been slipping DJs under the table perks for playing and replaying and replaying certain artists on radio stations across the country. "You're kidding me, Elton John is gay?!" Who didn't know that these kind of... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:22 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

SOFT C*CK ROCK

They play Guns N' Roses on classic rock radio stations. Does this depress anybody else? I'm way too young to be to be old, but I find myself always saying things that old people say, like: "it's amazing what they call music these days," and "is that a tumor? Is that a tumor?! " Okay, so the second... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:47 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, July 25, 2005

How Unlucky Can You Be

With all the news in the news lately, I'm having trouble finding a topic that hasn't beaten the dead horse and then thrown it into a woodchipper. Everything is so closely scrutinized these days, you feel like an integral part of all that's going on to the point where you start to think you're an... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:28 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, July 23, 2005

The Jetsons vs. The Flintstones

Yeah, the Jetsons vs. the Flintstones. You would think the Jetsons would have a huge advantage in this epic battle between cartoon nemeses, but the Flintstones are winning, because their futuristic opponents refuse to use their more advanced, technological toys to blow 'em back into the... well,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 1:33 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

My Sex Tape

I filed a restraining order against my mailman today. Mail-person... she-mail... Female-man? He's a she mailman. Anyway, let me explain. You see, we shared one night of blissfully romantic, satisfyingly sensual, chick-in-coop, full throttle, hot-water-bottle-in-peach-flavored-KY-youso slippery,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:22 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Child Molesters - They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To

Yeah, I'm really feeling sorry for the victim of this crime. Poor boy. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 2:17 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Shark Attack, Al Qaeda Ties, Sex with Priests

I was attacked by a shark. A terrorist shark with ties to Al Qaeda. (Incidentally, Al Qaeda ties were big sellers last Father's Day.) I knew I shouldn't have been swimming in the deep end of the pool, with all the reports surfacing about shark attacks, but I was a cocky Caucasian thinking 'sure, but... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 1:02 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, February 21, 2005

Better off Dead

The best thing you can do for your career in the entertainment industry is die. Death be not proud, but it sure as hell boosts record sales. I don't know about you, but I would like to receive my lifetime achievement award long before I'm worm food. Did you see the Grammys, where they gave a... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 11:05 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, February 3, 2005

Not for Children

You know how they have ways to set up the Internet so that it's safe for kids (rhetorical question). They have all these childproof options that a parent can arrange, so that Junior isn't corrupted by something he sees on the information superhighway. This is good. I'm in favor of this kind of... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 11:13 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

I sit up here, taking up space in my spaceship, while observing planet earth with all its quirky whats, whatnots, and what-have-yous, and I attempt to solve all the world's problems with mental duct tape and saran wrap. The solutions to all the wurl's woes can be found here in cryptic candy coding. (Like The Da Vinci Code starring Forrest Gump.) If you can't see the answers, your questioning comes into question.

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