Thinking Out Loud.

By CunningLinguist - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Opinion

Thursday, January 20, 2005

You Look Like A Dog That's Been Chasin' Parked Cars

I've never seen Phantom of the Opera, but I think I'm familiar with the basic storyline: hideously deformed, pure hearted gentleman, madly in love with the unattainable starlet beauty. Did Beauty and the Beast rip off The Phantom or was it vice versa? In any case, the plot has been recycled again... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 1:51 PM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, January 16, 2005

No Holds Barred Astrology

How come astrology is always exclusively positive? I mean, according to most astrological readings, every sign is a good sign. There's never emphasis on the less favorable parts of the human condition. You never go to a fortuneteller who says, "Oh shit, don't buy any green bananas!" Well, here's... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 11:12 AM | add or view comments (10) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Coffee Ah None

What the world needs now is coffee, sweet coffee. I have a jumbo headache right now, but only had a small cup of cappuccino this morning. This is a bad combination. Somebody bought me the cappuccino, so I can't complain -- but I will, because I'm always overcoming the odds. (I overcome the evens,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:42 AM | add or view comments (11) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

I'm Indifferent and I Don't Care

Honest to God, there's nothing to write about. I run into this problem routinely. So here I am, writing something -- anything -- hoping that, the more I write, the more there will be to write about. It's not happening. There's still nothing. I'm not interested in anything that's going on in the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:39 AM | add or view comments (10) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, January 10, 2005

Quit Your Bitchin', Bitch!

Do you ever see a famous person and think to yourself, 'Self, I could easily do what this obnoxious oversized foreskin on TV is doing, and I could do it better.'? I watch evening news shows like 60 Minutes, 20/20, and PrimeTime, but I can't stand Andy Rooney. He's a miserable old man and he brings... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 2:43 PM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, January 8, 2005

Are You Wearing Black? You Should Be (Going On A Guilt Trip)

Okay, so the tsunami death toll is up to 150,000 and counting. But the real tragedy is the Aniston/Pitt split. Yeah, I'm sorry if I'm the first one to tell you (doubtful), but Brad had it with Jennifer, and now he's looking to have it with somebody else. I found out on AOL, in the welcome menu's... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 2:23 PM | add or view comments (10) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, January 6, 2005

Journal Entry

Dear Journal, Have you ever wondered why people talk to you like you are a real person, Journal? One of the most ridiculous things that people do is write: "Dear Journal." For one thing, how do they know you are dear? You could be a complete asshole journal. I guess since you're taking the time to... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:58 AM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, January 5, 2005

Galileo My Eggo

What if outerspace is a huge fraud? Wouldn't that be cool if, suddenly, the world leaders came out together and said, "Ha! We got you good! Can't believe you fell for that!! Outerspace is the oldest trick in the book!!!" That's all for today. Just thinking about Space. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 2:37 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, January 2, 2005

Promises Promises

Dear Me, This year I am going to quit smoking! Shouldn't be hard, because I don't smoke. I believe in setting reasonable goals. I'm going to try to breathe everyday for a good portion of the day. Last year I spent too much time spending time, so this year I'm going to save some of it for a rainy... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 8:37 AM | add or view comments (12) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, January 1, 2005

Is It Today Yet?

What a party last night! As I write this to you, I'm still hanging from the chandelier with my pants around my ankles and my ankles around my ears. We used the champagne for shampoo and washed that haze right out of our heads. Then we hit the hard liquor and washed it right back in. Everybody... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 8:09 AM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

I sit up here, taking up space in my spaceship, while observing planet earth with all its quirky whats, whatnots, and what-have-yous, and I attempt to solve all the world's problems with mental duct tape and saran wrap. The solutions to all the wurl's woes can be found here in cryptic candy coding. (Like The Da Vinci Code starring Forrest Gump.) If you can't see the answers, your questioning comes into question.

Recent Entries
People
Blogs
Links

Headlines (What is this?)