Thinking Out Loud.

By CunningLinguist - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Opinion

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

More Molestation Allegations From a Notorious Source. Roundup The Usual

Captain Hook is being accused of sexually molesting Peter Pan. "I'd never have pegged him for a Tinkerbell," said Sleazy, the estranged Eighth Dwarf. Hook's defense attorney claims that his client was merely trying to kill Pan when he ordered him to walk the plank. Never Land is of course notorious... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 4:29 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Keep On Playin' Those Mind Games

Hell is not a fiery underground lair of eternal damnation. It's a stale bureaucracy. I think of Heaven as being swift and effortlessly efficient. People who work the offices of the Heaven Corp. are very attentive and have a 'we give a shit' attitude. Hell's employees get a daily memo telling them... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:15 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, August 8, 2005

Humpty Dumpty Retrospective

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. What a measurable way to spend your life! What kind of wall? What was the draw of this specific wall? I don't see the fascination. Did he have a particularly good view? Some Neighborhood Watch post or something? What a nosy bastard! Get off your moral high horse, you... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 8:19 AM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, August 6, 2005

A Cry For Help

Ever notice that you can't be cool and in love at the same time? I'm about to prove the theory correct. And it has nothing to do with that goofy orgasm-face guys make; lookin' like they're suddenly Elvis on the toilet squeezing out that last gyrating, curly-lipped hit. I woke up this morning feeling... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:24 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, August 4, 2005

So Sorry

Daily Gratuitous Sex Picture IT'S BABY JESSICA!!! Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 1:58 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Guy Walks Into A Bar

something a little different... me and Mr. Jones want to be Bob Dylan. Guy walks into a bar, says to the drink-jockey, "I don't know about life anymore.” "Or any less," says the liqueur pimp; always ready to pour an impure cure. "What zactly is it ya don't know?” "I don't know if it's worth the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:50 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, August 2, 2005

My Views Of This Godforsaken Nerf Ball of a Planet

Okay, so my Lita Ford experience didn't resonate with readers. Understandable. 'Twas a little personal. A window into the door of my mind, if you will. (Will ya?) The Blogit readership is mostly made up of members of the fairer sex. Members without members -- fair enough. So I was scanning the news... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 2:34 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Explain This One To Me

Bizarre coincidences are messin' with my head. Ever have one of those deals where, out of the blue, you think of some chucklehead ya haven't seen in umpteen years, then, that same day, that very same chucklehead calls on the telephone? Well... that didn't happen to me. This was something much more... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:14 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, August 1, 2005

Nobody's Problem

' There was an accident downtown today. Luckily, nobody was hurt. ' How do you think Nobody feels about that? Nobody has to be one of the most unlucky people around. He's always in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nobody knows why, but the rest of us don't. I was hanging out with Nobody today --... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 7:45 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, July 30, 2005

The Modern Blockbuster (revisited)

I wrote this almost exactly a year ago, and last night I saw the movie "The Day after Tomorrow”. It was just as bad as I expected. My movie is better and more believable. I'm in the process of directing a movie called "The Day After Yesterday”. It takes place in a small rural town in New York City... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 1:14 PM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

I sit up here, taking up space in my spaceship, while observing planet earth with all its quirky whats, whatnots, and what-have-yous, and I attempt to solve all the world's problems with mental duct tape and saran wrap. The solutions to all the wurl's woes can be found here in cryptic candy coding. (Like The Da Vinci Code starring Forrest Gump.) If you can't see the answers, your questioning comes into question.

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