Thinking Out Loud.

By CunningLinguist - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Opinion

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Hey, LUCK YOU!

Do you think God believes in luck? How do you land a job like that without feeling at least a little lucky? I have luck stuck in my head today because the morning sports-talk radio guys were trying to figure out how much of my New England Patriots' success this year could be attributed to luck and... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:04 AM | add or view comments (11) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, December 27, 2004

Mourning Saturday Mornings (updated)

Why is it that I like the Grinch more than most cartoon characters? Maybe it's the same reason I want Sylvester to kill Tweety and Wiley Coyote to give up on the Acme Company. For whatever reason, I don't want Tom to catch Jerry and I'm indifferent about Popeye's quarrel with Bluto; the prize there... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:38 AM | add or view comments (9) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Merry Christmas

I would get you all gifts if I could (lying), but I am Edgar Allan Poe, so I'm reduced a simple Season's Greetings and wishes for you to be safe when you Yule-tie-one-on during the holidays. Get yourself a designated driver and laugh at him/her. Merry Christmas to all and to all good dental hygiene.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 1:26 PM | add or view comments (11) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Cuban Coffee

To pick me up, I need a steaming cup. I can't get enough of that CUBAN COFFEE!! Love is blind. You know it's hard to find. But I know that I found mine in that CUBAN COFFEE!! I'm a caffeine fiend. The stuff's like gasoline. And I'm a Love machine for my CUBAN COFFEE!! Can't slow me down. I'm tearing... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 1:42 PM | add or view comments (19) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sexual Harassment's Downside (again)

Is it only sexual harassment if the offender is anal-rim ugly? Let's say I'm working for a rich lady lawyer who is more lawyer than lady. She's my superior, but Mother Superior jumps the gun and her wrinkly roaming hands regularly end up on my end. Don't get me wrong, I like an aggressive woman, but... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:32 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, December 20, 2004

Desperation For Housewives

First, let me make it clear that I hate soap operas. They're the equivalent of sliding down a banister that seamlessly turns into a razor blade and ends with you landing in a shallow puddle of salted lemon juice. Other than that, I have no strong feelings on the subject. Then comes Desperate... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 11:08 AM | add or view comments (12) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Erect Results - Battle of The Everlasting Gobstoppers

Ever get uneasy when Viagra ads 'pop up' on TV while you're watching with your family? Or Paxil, Meridia, Valtrex, Xenical, Propicia... Hey, there's plenty of stiff competition out there, but they're taking over the set. It seems that's all that's being advertised anymore. And they're really... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 2:52 PM | add or view comments (9) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Do Me A Favor

The path to Heaven is paved with good intentions. I know you've always heard just the opposite, but I'm here to set the record straight. Because crooked records sound ephed-up. Just by having a thought that your brain associates with kindness and compassion creates what can only be perceived as a... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:24 AM | add or view comments (19) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

"Opinions on Love" by Dr. Phil Layshio

If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with? What kind of poppycock is that?! (How did Poppy's cock get into this?) I reject this notion of settling with every fiber of my being. And my being is high in fiber. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic or maybe I'm just hopeless, but the idea... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:59 AM | add or view comments (12) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, December 13, 2004

Pimp Gimp (retro)

We now take you into the life of Dan Silver, a.k.a. "The Pimp Gimp". His home is rather lavish, with the velvet portrait of a nude Willie Nelson and ceramic sculptures of giant hands posed in obscene gestures. The shag carpeting on the ceilings really adds a unique touch. Quite different from the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 1:38 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

I sit up here, taking up space in my spaceship, while observing planet earth with all its quirky whats, whatnots, and what-have-yous, and I attempt to solve all the world's problems with mental duct tape and saran wrap. The solutions to all the wurl's woes can be found here in cryptic candy coding. (Like The Da Vinci Code starring Forrest Gump.) If you can't see the answers, your questioning comes into question.

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