Thursday, October 6, 2005Redneck Laws Of MotionYour everyday life is full of things that need fixing, which can all be boiled down to two categories: things that don't move and should, and things that move and shouldn't. According to the Redneck Handyman's Home Repair Manual And Hunting And Fishing And Parenting Guide (Limited Southern Deluxe... Sign in to see full entry.Wednesday, October 5, 2005Alien Anal Probe (AAP) Explains Bush's Decision-Making AbilityIt is not widely known that president George W. Bush was abducted by aliens soon after taking office in 2000. He was dropped off a couple hours later, apparently none the worse for wear, except for two black eyes where the aliens tried several times to insert an anal probe. (Hey, Laura! You can use... Sign in to see full entry.Saturday, October 1, 2005Dumbest Headline Of The Day Goes To...An Associated Press headline reads: Top Court Set to Tackle Contentious Cases Overstating the obvious leads to ridicule. Like, no shit, Sherlock, what other kinds of cases are there? Considering the fact that the cases heard by the Supreme Court have already been through a series of contentions to... Sign in to see full entry.Monday, September 26, 2005You Ran Out Of Gas...Again?The residents of Houston and its suburbs who fled Houston and its suburbs just before Rita made landfall and subsequently made the largest gridlock/parking lot in history are at it again. Only this time they are attempting to return to the city. Hundreds of thousands of vehicles jam the highways... Sign in to see full entry.Friday, September 23, 2005America, We Have A Cliche ProblemWith the impending devastation of a category 4 or 5 hurricane called Rita bearing down on the gulf coast, the news has been full of what could happen to Houston, Texas and its immediate surroundings. The gridlock on highways leading out of Houston has been the second leading topic on all the... Sign in to see full entry.Monday, September 19, 2005Forget E-Trader Or Stockbuilder; Just Ask A Psychopath To Pick StocksAccording to a joint study on investment decision-making conducted by Stanford, Caregie-Mellon, and the University of Iowa, people who are less emotional, more detached, those with slight cerebral scarring were more likely to make more sound investment decisions. The reason: emotion makes for hasty... Sign in to see full entry.Thursday, September 15, 2005Bumper Sticker GospelSeen on a bumper in Atlanta: Bush Solid as a Rock But Dumber Sign in to see full entry.Saturday, September 10, 2005Remember: Don't Drink The Water!Two thousand Mexican troops crossed the Texas border, bringing medical supplies, foodstuffs, and water. The poor, underfed, dehydrated New Orleanian evacuees did exactly what anyone else in their right minds would have done: they poured the water into tubs and washed up for dinner. Gracias, México,... Sign in to see full entry.Wednesday, September 7, 2005For Those Retards Dreaming of Getting Rich Quick With A Mouse ClickWhat people don't seem to get is that the only people getting rich quick off of get-rich-quick schemes are those who come up with new ways to dupe people looking for get-rich-quick schemes in the first place. Put down the phone. Don't click on that website. Go rent a porn video or go to a porn site... Sign in to see full entry.Monday, September 5, 2005And we ask New Orleans: What can Brown do for you?That U seless P iece of S hit not only couldn't do his last job properly, but he's not very good at his new appointment either. What did he deliver? Not nearly enough. And because of the incompetence and lack of experience of Mike Brown, New Orleans has suffered dearly. So what can Brown do for you?... Sign in to see full entry. |