The Flatliner Diaries

By saul_relative - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Heh, Heh, It's Just That, Eh, Ya See, Heh, Well, It's Another Bushism

Quote of the day: "I'll let you know when I'm ready to tell you who it is." President Bush made this comment in reply to more questions about who he had in mind for a position on the Supreme Court. Yogi Berra couldn't have written a better line. And the choice will be announced the moment it's... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

This Prison Sentence Brought To You By The Number '5'

A man in Oakland, California, was arrested after trying to rob the same bank five times. It seems that a teller recognized him, then confronted him, after which he fled. Police picked the man up several blocks away with the demand note still in his pocket. They beleive he is responsible for robbing... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 8, 2005

Anybody Else See Anything Off-Color About This Title?

A title featured on AOL News in the Political News section: "Rice Begins Four-Nation Tour in East Asia." koRn is set to tour the Midwest (truly). Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 7, 2005

Redundancy In The Fifth Estate

In the course of interviews and press conferences, it is common for reporters to ask like questions, but usually with small twists or different focal points. This leads to clarity and can sometimes trip up those who reporters may have reason to believe may be wont to mislead the press. Then... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 4, 2005

All In A Name

There are two names I've recently come across in my ramblings through the various news reports and stories that I feel are somehow appropriate and amusing with regard to the organizations to which they belong. A man by the name of Saxonhouse, who works for the American Enterprise Institute in... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

This Piece Of Ass (Or Any Other Tattooable Body Part) For Sale

Kari Smith of Salt Lake City, Utah, has sold a piece of her dumb ass (hence the title) to Goldenpalace.com, an online gambling casino for $10,000. She sold it as advertising space. The particular piece of her dumb ass happens to be her forehead. And she readily admits that plenty of people have let... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

There Is No Longer A Cardinal Sin In The Phillipines, Literally

Of all the names to be saddled with as a member of the Roman Catholic Church, then to rise to its highest order within the clergy -- well, the cofluence of office and name are a bit striking, and a bit funny. Jaime Sin was born the 14th of 16 children to a Chinese merchant and a Filipino native. He... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

The Definition Of Stupid

The residents of Juan Barragan, some four dozen strong, were allowed by the Mexican government to return to their homes on the active volcano they were forced to flee a week ago. Seismologists and government officials have deemed the area safe enough for them to return, even though the Volcano of... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 8, 2005

Mentally Ill Children?

AOL headline: Mental Illness Can Start In Childhood. Whoever wrote this title has children, probably pre-teen or teenagers. Right now one of them is asking him for the 5000th time what his favorite color is. A second one is asking a question his brother sitting right beside him asked ten seconds... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 2, 2005

Hey, Officer, He Wasn't Suicidal, He Just Needed Some Coffee And A Smoke

The second guy in a week climbed to the top of a building crane on a construction site in Atlanta. Unlike the first offender, who held the police at bay for hours on end (and no wonder: the man was a murderer and was facing various criminal charges in Florida), the second guy was soon talked out of... Sign in to see full entry.

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