The Flatliner Diaries

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Jay Leno Likens Economy To Bush's Response To Katrina

"With all this financial panicking going on, President Bush held a press conference and told everyone to 'take a deep breath.' That’s good advice. The economy’s tanking, and he’s giving a lamaze class. Take a deep breath. Isn’t that what he told people in New Orleans when the water was rising? Just... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Of Computers and Perspective...

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." -- Rick Cook Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 23, 2008

The King Of Irreverence Is Dead; Long Live George Carlin

The voice of irreverence has been silenced. George Carlin died Sunday in L.A. of heart failure. He was 71. I loved George Carlin and never missed him on interviews or specials that he might have on HBO. I'm pretty certain I've seen them all. I have a couple of his albums. I also bought his last... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Racist T-Shirt Of Obama For Sale In Marietta, Georgia

A bar owner in Marietta, Georgia, is selling a t-shirt with a cartoon monkey eating a banana, a caption underneath reading: Obama '08. Spokespeople at the White House said that president Dubya Bush was infuriated with the t-shirt. It took staffers and Laura Bush almost three hours to calm him down.... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Everything's Bigger In Texas (That Would Include Crawford)...

Dubya has done something that no other president has ever done -- amassed a job disapproval rating higher than any other president in history. Dubya made Gallup poll history this past week with a 69% job disapproval rating. And you can't say he didn't work hard to get that rating. He has amassed... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

May Day

It was May Day today. People marched and rallied and demonstrated and protested all over the world. Out in Los Angeles, only 8500 people came out, a far cry from the half million that marched in 2006. That's because everybody was out celebrating this international labor day by working a second job... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Just What Is That Image In Dick Cheney's Glasses?

It's a little difficult to determine, but with a little help from NASA, I'm sure they're going to find that that image is either the ghost of Anna Nicole Smith or a blow-up doll. I mean, that image is rounded. Hey, wait. Maybe it's both. A blow-up doll bearing the likeness of Anna Nicole Smith. Now,... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

April Fools Day !

Hope your shoes are tied!! Seriously, though, today is a day of normalcy for some people. You know, the childishly suggestive, "Your shoe is untied." Which usually makes you look. Even though you've been wearing penny loafers or cowboy boots or slip-on flats for years... For instance, today is the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Haiku Therapy

The following is an attempt at therapy. An exercise, if you will. Someone (a blogger, elysianfields) suggested that -- in the aftermath of a telephone conversation that has left me exasperated -- I resort to the penning of haiku, which is known for its spirituality and beauty of form. So, after my... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Lowborn Humor

I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said: My dropout got your honor roll student pregnant. Now, that's low. It's not even funny. It's why there are so many damned trailor parks in this country. So I suggest this bumper sticker: I know where the dropout that got my honor roll student pregnant... Sign in to see full entry.

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