Thinking Out Loud.

By CunningLinguist - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Opinion

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Spellcheck Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

I didn't write this, but I thought it was clever. Found it in my travels on the web, and figured somebody might get a kick out of it. 'Spell Checker Blues' Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 7:59 AM | add or view comments (13) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

No False Eye-Dolls, Barbie Ban

Barbie got banned in Iran. It was just a matter of time, really. I'm surprised she lasted this long. How many decapitated Barbie dolls have you seen in your lifetime? And this is America; decapitations happen here far less frequently. We have the decency to give a heads up first. They didn't say... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:45 AM | add or view comments (10) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Sniffing Her Seat - Chivalry Gone Too Far?

First, let me state for the record: Dear Record, I love Australia and all of your unorthodox outback ways. Aussies are awesome and this can't be contested or denied. This post I'm about to post is neither a rump nor a rump roast of what's up Down Under; it's more like jealousy on my part, because I... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 8:30 AM | add or view comments (10) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, April 28, 2008

Myth Busted After Some Detective Work

It's a little-known fact that Sherlock Holmes's real last name wasn't Holmes, it was DeKeezendikarr. The misunderstanding came from Sherlock's sidekick, Dr. John Watson, who's name was also changed in order to hide his ethnicity. He was actually Juan Willy Alejandro Tavares Santos Osvaldo Nemesio.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:33 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Pet Issues

My goldfish had an asthma attack today. You should have seen his little eyes bulging in and out. I tried to give him mouth-to-mouth, but I accidentally swallowed him. I put my finger down my throat, so he would have some company, and then he came back out. He started breakdancing on the floor. It... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 1:39 PM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, April 25, 2008

I Get By with a Little Help from John Lennon

Imagine there's no Heaven. It's easy if you try. Yeah, let's say that there's no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Let's say that the light at the end of the tunnel turns out only to be you. Boy, are we going to feel screwed, aren't we? I mean, all the pleasure we denied ourselves, mostly... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:09 AM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I'm Offended By Chinese Cooking Shows

Mainly because I can't Wok. What offends you? Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:10 AM | add or view comments (13) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

No Orphans Were Harmed in the Making of This Post

I can't think of anything to write about today. So I'm going to write tomorrow's post today posthaste. I figure why postpone? That's a rhetoric question. Has anybody been watching HBO's "John Adams" the miniseries? It just ended last Sunday, but I was watching my Celtics kick hindquarters in the NBA... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:09 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, April 21, 2008

Pimp Gimp

We now take you into the life of Dan Silver, a.k.a. "The Pimp Gimp". His home is rather lavish, with the velvet portrait of a nude Willie Nelson and ceramic sculptures of giant hands posed in obscene gestures. The shag carpeting on the ceilings really adds a unique touch. Quite different from the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 8:42 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Which Part of "My Life" Don't You Understand?

I don't endorse suicide; in fact, I believe you'll live to regret it if you do such a thing. Howethever, a government simply not allowing someone to punch their own clock or even taking great measures to clock-block is unacceptable. Suicide is the harshest form of self-criticism. But what... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:50 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

I sit up here, taking up space in my spaceship, while observing planet earth with all its quirky whats, whatnots, and what-have-yous, and I attempt to solve all the world's problems with mental duct tape and saran wrap. The solutions to all the wurl's woes can be found here in cryptic candy coding. (Like The Da Vinci Code starring Forrest Gump.) If you can't see the answers, your questioning comes into question.

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