Monday, June 16, 2008
I Wrote This Today
I need a hero, because these superhero movies are raking in obscene cheddar at the box office without fail. "The Incredible Hulk," as predicted, owned audiences this past weekend. Before that, "Iron Man" -- the story of a mild-mannered obsessive-compulsive who can't sleep at night unless his slacks...
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Monday, June 9, 2008
Summertime Views
I feel like being lazy today. No, I'm too tired to be lazy. Think I'll go about being lazy in a half-assed manner, because if I use my whole ass I'll feel like an ass-whole. (Little play on words there, did you catch that?) As I write to you now, I'm listening to somebody mowing their lawn. You...
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Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Science is An Inexact Science
New studies show that the old studies were wrong. A soon-to-be debunked junk scientist has found that all previous findings should have remained hidden. Science is an inexact science, and it's starting to get aggravating. The more we know, the less we know. Ya know? An expert on... err......
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Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Erectile Dysfunction Challenge
Ever get uneasy when Viagra ads 'pop up’ on TV while you're watching with your family? Or Cialis, Levitra, etc.... Hey, there's plenty of stiff competition out there, but they're taking over the set. It seems that's all that's being advertised anymore. And they're really obscure, so you don't even...
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Monday, June 2, 2008
Caustic Humor
I'm going to sound like a stick-in-the-mud raining on various and sun-dried parades, but I feel the need to point out that there is a phenomenon occurring which has been an ever growing cultural snowball. I can't exactly figure out when it started; maybe it's always been in us, but we never before...
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Thursday, May 29, 2008
You Know You're Having a Bad Day When...
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Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Karma Comedian
When Sharon Stone speaks, if you listen closely, you can hear her ears whistling. It’s a fascinating phenomenon. At some film Festival recently some poor slob made the mistake of putting a microphone in front of Ms. Stone’s face and giving her an opportunity to air her airhead views on the...
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Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Keystrokes
I'm the chairman of the board; a board of many keys. I'm crossing all the eyes and dotting all the tease. Yes, the Lord of the board; the pen mightier than the sword, So how would you measure the word processor? Certainly no lesser than the A-bomb. Sure, the quill gave them a thrill, but couldn't...
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Monday, May 19, 2008
Poultry In Motion
Do you have relatives from Babble On? Is there somebody in your family whose train of thought goes off track more than Amtrak? My mother is a lesson in digression. She can stretch three sentences into a life sentence to the point where you'll be lobbying to have yourself put on death row. Below is a...
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Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Insanity As a Lifestyle Choice
Did you ever stop to think that maybe mental illness is the way to go? I mean, you want to avoid the straitjacket, but other than that, it seems like a pretty good deal. You are totally free to lick the wallpaper or have conversations with lawn gnomes. Nobody expects anything from somebody who goes...
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