Wednesday, February 15, 2006
The Mike Saga Continues from 2005
"OK...OK...this is driving me crazy. who took this picture (dare I ask)? Were you really, ah..., you know, um...? Carole Marie, 1972 This was Mike writing back to me, referring to a picture Jay had taken of me at age 19. I was standing by a window and it is available light, either moonlight or probably the light at sunrise. I suppose I was still reminding him of a younger, less plump, less wrinkled self. Within two weeks correspondence, we were wandering down memory lane from our college days,...
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Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Bonnie & Clyde
The day Jay replaced my wedding ring was the day my brother removed his own. A week ago today his wife became a fugitive of the law -- and it that wasn't bad enough, it was with her lover! If you thought I have an interesting life, I'm telling you it can't hold a candle to my little brother's. He has one crisis after another going on. It has always been that way and continues to this day. Someday, I will have to fill in the nitty gritty, but for now I'll pick up his story by saying that in...
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Friday, February 10, 2006
With This Ring, Again
Jay and I picked up my repaired wedding band this week, the one I had cut off my finger in Mike's presence last October in California, before Mike was truly confronted by his wife and wimped out on me. I am at peace with Mike's decision by now, but it has taken me several long weeks to reconcile myself to never seeing Mike or hearing from him again. I was ready to leave my family, to leave them to their longing, and move 1500 miles away to start over with this man. Cutting off my wedding ring of...
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Thursday, February 9, 2006
How bad is MY Parkinson's?
Where I am with this disease NOW after 23 years……. My drugs treat the symptoms of the disease but PD is degenerative. There is no cure. It affects all muscles in the body. Common symptoms are tremor of the hands, arms, feet and legs. I am so advanced as to have it affect even the trunk of my body; a “trunkal” tremor. The weekend I ran out of drugs, my facial muscles were scrunching up, even tremoring if you can imagine. I was holding my face with my hands. It’s a very uncomfortable sensation. I...
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PD Made Me Do It!! pt. 2
(from yesterday) We made our way slowly across the parking lot. This was a first. I had never been this symptomatic before. We never knew how dependent I was on the medicines, in the right combinations and on the correct schedule. I’ve done so well in the past with the neuro-implanted stimulators, I could go hours without medications. I got to go off meds all together for about a month right after the procedure. I was tested afterwards with no meds and then with meds. The doctor was always...
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Wednesday, February 8, 2006
PD Made Me Do It
This is a week's worth of medications. My major illness is Parkinson's (seven meds) but I take medication for GERD, three for cardiac, two for cancer (and osteopenia), one for allergies, one for two neuromas, one for low thyroid, 2 topical treatments for toenail fungus AND 6 different vitamin supplements. I have one gyno-insert I use for menopause twice a week. I just counted 14 doctors on my list. Have I tried to go without any of these? You bet. And when I did....... well......... I will...
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Tuesday, February 7, 2006
Last Words from my 'Old Mike'
(This is a followup to yesterday’s blog. If you didn’t read it, you should, in order to bring light to today’s blog.….sorry……. ) I was surprised to get a response. I was shocked! I thought he had said goodbye with his 3 page thinker to me the day before. I now think that God led me to do what I did. We ended on a positive note with the card I sent. That I was to get a response came as a total and complete surprise! It was a post e-card from the “Old Mike.” It showed green hills and there was our...
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Monday, February 6, 2006
My Parting Words
What did our final parting e-cards say to each other? I will start with the one I sent him. I responded to his three page “thinker” e-mail with 6 lines, condensed down from the 7 page responding e-mail I had composed the day before and thankfully, had the good sense NOT to send! My e-card featured a mountaintop; an animated scene, representing the Mt. Borel experience I described on yesterday’s blog. It talked about achieving the dream, yada yada, and ended in the word “Congratulations.” There...
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Sunday, February 5, 2006
The Mike Saga: pt. 3 I spent the whole day Tuesday writing and rewriting a response to Mike’s thinker piece, all the while keeping an eye on the list I'd compiled earlier on a blog about "Never Click Send...." Would I send it? Everything in me screamed not to but that had happened before and I hadn't listened. Would I listen to myself this time? I did THAT, too, sometimes. I printed it out and read it on paper. I read it out loud. It was seven pages long. There, I'd said it; I'd cried it, for...
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Saturday, February 4, 2006
The Mike Saga Continues:Pt. 2
My saga with Mike continues with part 2 of 3. I left off yesterday where I got a three page "thinker" from Mike, trying one last time to state his position, why goodbye had to mean goodbye and not talking about goodbye; we'd done that for pages and pages. At the end he'd said I love you. That had been a calming force to me.........so here is what happened next with my husband, Jay. I immediately printed it off and showed it to Jay, who was brushing his teeth, ready to leave for his studio. He...
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