Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Things Were Heating Up
Things were heating up very quickly. I don't know why we "missed" when we were young, but it wasn't meant to be, for some reason. I thought you might enjoy some of our dialogue. These are all written March 1st, 2005. You can see how our feelings for each other are just OUT there in no time. Mike even says the "L" word! Cee- All of a sudden, I just stopped and realized that I am e-mailing my Mike ****, long lost KU compatriot/ great kisser extraordinaire and I get all giddy, like I'm a 19-23 year...
Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Old Hard Heart
It was February 28, 2005, just a couple of weeks after getting back in touch with an old college friend, Mike. He had almost talked himself into shutting the door on me before we really got started. He recently recalled those doubts that had strangely overwhelmed him as he drove to a work-related meeting. He remembered those younger-Mike insecurities he experienced when he drove this same route in February 2005. “Does she like me? “What did she think about my Magnum Opus, all three of them? “Why...
Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, January 16, 2006
"He Had a Sweet Little Kitty"
My lumpectomy from breast cancer, the Sentinel Node biopsy and the second procedure to relocate my IPG from the chest to the abdomen, took a total of 5.5 hours. My husband drove in and saw me just before I went into the OR. He joined my daughter who had brought me, who also hates hospitals and their smells. They waited the morning away and soon, it was afternoon. More friends of the family joined them in the tiny, uncomfortable waiting room, packed with other anxious families. The last time I...
Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
The Big Pain
I had one more stop to make before I actually hit the O.R.. I had had no drugs, other than the Novocain shot to the skin over the tumor before I was undergo the most painful part of the day. No one had warned me about this next part and so I am warning YOU, readers, just so you'll be educated. In surgery, they would do a biopsy of the lymph nodes under the arm. There is one large node attached to smaller ones after that. It looks similar to what a decimated cluster of grapes might appear. The...
Sign in to see full entry.
The Mother of Mamms
I was having a lumpectomy to remove cancer this time, not the biopsy to remove what was probably a fibroid cyst that I was so used to. My first stop of the day would be the Breast Center. A nice woman directed me to strip from the waist up and put on the half gown that I was to become very familiar with in the weeks to come. She had me sit in a wheelchair where she draped me in several blankets so no one could see a thing and I would stay warm. I was then wheeled out into the crowds that seem to...
Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, January 13, 2006
The Little Voice is Never Wrong.
I didn’t get breast cancer because of my grandpa’s penchant for Tiparillos. Mine was to be classified an estrogen receptor positive cancer. It was hormonal. In November, Elizabeth Edward’s announcement to the world that SHE had breast cancer made me sit up and listen to this little voice on my head that insisted I get my mammogram done. There was something wrong this time. I shouldn’t wait. I’ve said it before, when my little voice talks, I listen. As it turned out, I was diagnosed with Invasive...
Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
“Cigars? Cigarettes? Tiparillos?”
My 24-year-old daughter lived only 5 minutes from the Med Center, so I’d spent the night at her house before surgery. A small, malignant mass was to be incised from my left breast that morning. I lived an hour away and we figured I could use the extra hour to sleep. My husband was to arrive later that morning. I had preliminary pre-operative procedures to go through before I would actually go into surgery. I kept having this unlikely image recur in my mind as my daughter dropped me off around...
Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
For the Record: Part One
Dear Readers: If I gave the impression that I am going back to the other man, Mike, or considering having an affair with anyone else, I am sorry. I certainly did not mean to give this impression. My blogs are going to be telling of what happened a year ago, not plans of what is to be. Let me set the record straight. I am back with my husband, still happily married, and everyone we know are waving aside of my nearly leaving as merely a blip last fall. We have always appeared to be the best...
Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
I'm So Vain
When I was a teen, I took my lithe, muscular body for granted. I couldn’t imagine not always being just as I had always been. I was solid muscle and skinny as Twiggy but with curves. There was a lot I was oblivious to in the sixties. For example, I never knew that I grew up poor. We always felt taken care of on the farm, where there was plenty of clean air and sunshine to bronze your skin (I wore my bikini; no farmer tan-lines for me) and hard work to mold your muscles (which was great for...
Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, January 8, 2006
Gravity Could Be Worse than Cancer
When Mike called my husband's business on the day of surgery, little did he know what his ka- roll -ee was going through. February 9th, 2005, was my surgery day. It would not be long before I would know if the cancer had spread. I had prepared for this day. There are many decisions a woman has to make before going into this surgery. I had decided on a lumpectomy in order to keep my breast in tact. I found out that if I had a mastectomy, there was a federal law that made insurance pay to have...
Sign in to see full entry.