Oh Doc says the blonde
"I can't find a cause for your illness," the doctor said. "Frankly, I think it's due to drinking.""In that case," replied his blonde patient, "I'll come back when you are sober." Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, December 13, 2013
A few deep thoughts to ponder
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say? What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way? What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious? Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Lol You Aussies are quite funny! (involves sex)
Aussies have condom commercial banned from tv but not the net! http://www.shockmansion.com/2013/12/10/video-australian-condom-commercial-gets-banned-but-thankfully-the-internet-doesnt-care-about-the-law/ Sign in to see full entry.
brush
An army Major visiting sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir" "Good man." says the Major. He goes to... Sign in to see full entry.
nursing home
At a nursing home a group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments. "My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee." "I couldn't even mark an 'X' at election time,... Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
cough
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle... Sign in to see full entry.
old man
A well dressed, debonair man in his mid nineties enters an upscale cocktail lounge and finds a seat next to a good looking, younger woman in her mid eighties, at the most. Trying to remember his best pick-up line, he says, "So tell me, do I come here often?" Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Dead Wife
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her... Sign in to see full entry.
Hopeful
A guy goes to the pharmacist and says, "Listen, these two girls are coming over this weekend, and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night? It's going to be a hell of a party." The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says, "This... Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, December 7, 2013
It's time
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a... Sign in to see full entry.