Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Lol who had the better time?

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Oh Luke...stop while you are ahead!

Luke's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products she asked, "Darling, honestly what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Luke replied, "Judging from your skin,... Sign in to see full entry.

Oh Doc!

A lady called her gynecologist, and asked for an "emergency" appointment. The receptionist said to come right in. She rushed to the office, and was ushered right into an examination room. The doctor came into the exam room and asked about her problem. She was very shy about her emergency problem,... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 2, 2013

some interesting twists on life

Why are they calledapartments if they are joined together? An archaeologist is a besthusband a woman can get. As older she grows, the more interested he isin her. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. If moths are attracted to bright lights, how come they sleep during the... Sign in to see full entry.

condoms slogans

1. Capmbell's Soup Condoms: Mmm, mmmm, good... 2. Coca Cola Condoms: the real thing. 3. Diet pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby. 4. Double Mint: Double your pleasure, Double your fun! 5. Energizer: It keeps going and going and going... 6. Ford condoms: the best never Rest. 7. Hewlett Packard... Sign in to see full entry.

He got it right!

A man to his friend: "At my house I always say the last word". His friend: "What is the word?" The man: "I am sorry. Forgive me" Sign in to see full entry.

Senior Moment at its finest

(This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida) An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

me thinks he won't make it

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, 'What are you doing?' She answers, 'I'm moving to Nevada. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free.' Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom & sees her husband... Sign in to see full entry.

love those veggies

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen,"What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?" The... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 29, 2013

Clinic

Bill and Bob, two children, were sitting outside a clinic. Bill happened to be crying very loudly. "Why are you crying?" Bob asked. "I came here for a blood test," sobbed Bill. "So? Are you afraid?" "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger. As Bob heard this, he immediately began crying... Sign in to see full entry.