Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, January 2, 2014

stroke of midnight

On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

tonight

I am sitting here watching the countdown for the new year. Mario Lopez sees a guy in the audience that he just has to interview. He has a very high and thin mohawk. On the mohawk is a pattern like that of the peacock feathers and on top of that is the year 2014. I don't know how much hair spray he... Sign in to see full entry.

engineer midterm response

engineer response to midterm question about hell...i don't need any negative comments about it...i didn't write...just sharing it http://themetapicture.com/hell-explained-by-an-engineer-cant-say-i-didnt-expect-that/ Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 30, 2013

#2

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane Sign in to see full entry.

thoughts that aren't that deep

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway. Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself). Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run (he hates that) If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. (and yes, I can touch my toes) Sign in to see full entry.

Arrival in heaven

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8." Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?" "Baptist." "Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you... Sign in to see full entry.

Heaven

One day at the entrance to heaven, St. Peter saw a New York street gang. walk up to the Pearly Gates. This being a first, St. Peter ran to God and said, "God, there are some evil, thieving New Yorkers at the Pearly Gates. What do I do?". God replied, "Just do what you normally do with that type.... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Day after Christmas

Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy. The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had had in their... Sign in to see full entry.

Groaner!

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were having a long drawn out duel on Christmas Eve. Lightsabers drawn and sparks flying Vader pinned Luke against a bulkhead and glared at him. "I know what you're getting for Christmas, Luke," he said, "Ohhh, yes! I know!" Luke fought himself free and jumped to a... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

thoughts to ponder...women

Insanity is my only means of relaxation. Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring. Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them. One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a... Sign in to see full entry.