Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, November 18, 2013

More non PC...state mottos

Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ California: By 30, Our Women... Sign in to see full entry.

These are not PC...so don't read if not being PC bothers you

The Shortest Books Ever Written * 1000 Years of German Humor * Everything men know about women * The Code of Ethics for Lawyers * Italian War Heroes * Who's who in Puerto Rico * Americans' Guide to Etiquette * Royal Family's Guide to Good Marriages * Safe Places to Travel in the USA * Jerry Garcia's... Sign in to see full entry.

worst age

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" "Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the... Sign in to see full entry.

hearing loss

An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing. So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of... Sign in to see full entry.

living long life

Three rednecks, Bubba, Earl and Jeb, were stumbling home late one night and found themselves on the road that led past the old graveyard. "Come have a look over here", says Bubba, "It's Zeb Jones' grave, God bless his soul, he lived to the ripe old age of 87." "That's nothing", says Earl, "here's... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Top hits for the geriatric crowd

Great news! Some of the old favorite singers and bands have re-released their great hits with new titles and lyrics to accommodate their aging audience. Some examples: Herman's Hermits: "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker" The Rolling Stones: "You Can't Always Pee When You Want" Credence... Sign in to see full entry.

Groaner alert III

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. The beech says to the birch: "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a... Sign in to see full entry.

Wishing

There is a bear chasing a rabbit through the forest and they're running and running and they stop because a ginnie appears. The ginnie says " if you two stop fighting and chasing each other i'll give you each three wishes" They agree. The bear wishes first for the biggest "package" of all the bears... Sign in to see full entry.

Assumptions

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

pun time

There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk - the ghost which `lived' there was feared by all. However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only... Sign in to see full entry.