Did you hear?
Q: Did you hear about the guy who found out the secret to making women happy? A: No, neither did I. Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
who am i?
It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 500 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very... Sign in to see full entry.
stroke of midnight
On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost... Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
tonight
I am sitting here watching the countdown for the new year. Mario Lopez sees a guy in the audience that he just has to interview. He has a very high and thin mohawk. On the mohawk is a pattern like that of the peacock feathers and on top of that is the year 2014. I don't know how much hair spray he... Sign in to see full entry.
engineer midterm response
engineer response to midterm question about hell...i don't need any negative comments about it...i didn't write...just sharing it http://themetapicture.com/hell-explained-by-an-engineer-cant-say-i-didnt-expect-that/ Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, December 30, 2013
#2
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane Sign in to see full entry.
thoughts that aren't that deep
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway. Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself). Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run (he hates that) If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. (and yes, I can touch my toes) Sign in to see full entry.
Arrival in heaven
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8." Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?" "Baptist." "Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you... Sign in to see full entry.
Heaven
One day at the entrance to heaven, St. Peter saw a New York street gang. walk up to the Pearly Gates. This being a first, St. Peter ran to God and said, "God, there are some evil, thieving New Yorkers at the Pearly Gates. What do I do?". God replied, "Just do what you normally do with that type.... Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Day after Christmas
Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy. The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had had in their... Sign in to see full entry.