Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

lawyer in an accident

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!" he whined. "You lawyers are... Sign in to see full entry.

lawyers

A Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in eastern North Carolina. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing. The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 28, 2014

love those politicians

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. ‘Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you... Sign in to see full entry.

lil johnny...

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an "F" in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6.'" "But that's right!" The father replied. "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What the heck's the stupid difference?" asked the father. "That's what I... Sign in to see full entry.

wooing the wife

Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented... Sign in to see full entry.

leaving the bar a bit tipsy

Recently on a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood bar the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

animals

The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. "I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I've seen it on T.V." He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to the field and chose up... Sign in to see full entry.

ladies night out

Two women decide to go out drinking. They drank a wee bit too much. They needed to pee so they took a squat in the nearby cemetery. One used her panties and the other used a wreath. The next day their husbands talked on the phone. Man my wife came home without panties! You think that is bad...mine... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, April 25, 2014

oh lil johnny!

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing and staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him. Gazing up at the plaque, too, he said quietly,... Sign in to see full entry.

conquering fear

One day an Antartian decided to face her fears and go riding on a horse. It was easy for her to get on and she was doing just fine until the horse started to go faster. She started slipping off the saddle. She couldn’t hold on to the horse and her head started hitting the ground. She was almost... Sign in to see full entry.