Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, July 13, 2014

open up!

A bar owner locked up his place at 2 AM and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang. “What time do you open up in the morning?” he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire. The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few... Sign in to see full entry.

taxi ride

Three drunks hailed a taxi. The taxi driver seeing that they were so wasted when they got in, he just switched on the engine and switched it off, and said we are here. The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him. The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 11, 2014

flying

A man went to the airline counter. The ticket agent asked, "Sir, do you have reservations?" He replied, "Reservations? Of course I have reservations, but I'm flying anyway." Sign in to see full entry.

carrying a child

A mother carefully explained to her young daughter how children were created. She used the expression “carrying a child” instead of “pregnant,” but the girl seemed satisfied. Sometime later, a terrible fire broke out in the neighborhood, and the girl stood by watching. Here is how she described the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

loooool

“Now my motto in life,” said the school chaplain, “is work hard, play hard and pray hard. How about you, Harriet?” “My motto is let bygones be bygones.” “That’s good. Why did you choose that?” “Then I wouldn’t have to take any history classes!” Sign in to see full entry.

puns to you

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two tired. Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 7, 2014

blonde golfer

Did you hear about the golfer trying to buy a new golf club? He looked at club after club after club. His friend asked him "Why are you taking so long?" He replied "I am looking for a hole in one!" Sign in to see full entry.

pun time

How did the violin greet the guitar? Cello!! Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

bad news

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight,... Sign in to see full entry.

shingles

A man walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied, "I got shingles." She said, "Fill out this form and supply your name, address, medical insurance number. When you're done, please take a seat." Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what... Sign in to see full entry.