you owe me
At a bar, one patron to another: “Excuse me but I think you owe me a drink.” Why? “You’re so ugly that I dropped mine when I saw you” Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
can you hear me now?
While getting a checkup, a man tells his doctor that he thinks his wife is losing her hearing. The doctor says, "You should do a simple test. Stand about 15 feet behind your wife and say 'honey?’ Move 3 feet closer and do it again. Keep moving 3 feet closer until she finally responds." Remember how... Sign in to see full entry.
wanna race?
An old man was tired from riding his bike, and decided to hitch hike. A guy in his red Corvette pulled up to give him a lift. When the old man brought out his bike that he had leaned up against a tree, the driver said, "I have no room for your bike in my car, but I'd like to help you in someway... Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
groaner!
Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. "What’ll be, boys?" The first vampire says "Blood. Give me blood." The second vampire says "I too wish for blood!" The third vampire says "Give me plasma." The Bartender smiles and says "Got... Sign in to see full entry.
in heaven
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?" Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs... Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, July 21, 2014
for all canadian bloggers
A drunk was leaning against a lamppost staring up at a signboard and yelling, "It can't be done, it's too big! Another drunk staggered by and slurred, "What can't be done?" The other drunk answered. "What does that sign say, 'DRINK CANADA DRY'. "It's just too damn big, it can’t be done!" Sign in to see full entry.
for all canadian bloggers
A drunk was leaning against a lamppost staring up at a signboard and yelling, "It can't be done, it's too big! Another drunk staggered by and slurred, "What can't be done?" The other drunk answered. "What does that sign say, 'DRINK CANADA DRY'. "It's just too damn big, it can’t be done!" Sign in to see full entry.
which is it?
Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon." The other drunk stops and looks at his drunken friend, "You are wrong. That's not the moon, that's the sun." Both started arguing for a while when they came upon another drunk walking, so they... Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
snail
This snail crawls up to this bar as it was closing. The snail pounds and pounds on the door until the bartender finally opens the door. The bartender looks around and sees nothing until the snail demands a beer. The bartender looks down and sees him, but replies, "Hey, we're closed now and besides... Sign in to see full entry.
tap dancing duck
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000... Sign in to see full entry.