Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Pandas

A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a meal. After eating he pulls out a gun, shoots the place to the ground, and runs away. Quickly the bartender runs after him yelling, "HEY YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!!" The panda turns around and yells "Yes I can. Look me up in the encyclopedia!" So, the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:43 AM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

contact with ET

For his entire working life, a dedicated and hardworking Astrophysicist tried in all earnest to find the existence of other being somewhere in the universe. After 58 years of constant effort, he finally receives a response from a planet 30 billion light years away. “What is your planet like?”... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:36 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, August 10, 2014

groaner!

Q: What did the windmill say when she met her favorite movie star? A: "Nice to meet you. I'm a BIG FAN!" Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 11:37 PM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Miss Beatrice

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 11:36 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

just doing as you ask

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a “Living Will” "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 11:39 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

just doing as you ask

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a “Living Will” "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 11:38 AM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

on vacation

A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days before his return he calls his brother. Brother 1: So how is my cat doing? Brother 2: He's Dead Brother 1: He's Dead! What do you mean He's Dead! I loved that cat. Couldn't you think of a nicer way to... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 11:38 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, August 9, 2014

no crayons

Mrs. Smith, I ain’t got no crayons. Young man, you mean, I don’t have any crayons. You don’t have any crayons. We don’t have any crayons. They don’t have any crayons. Do you see what I’m getting at? I think so. What happened to all the crayons? Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 11:54 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

direct object

In a grammar lesson in eighth grade Mrs. O’Neill said, “Paul, give me a sentence with a direct object.” Paul replied. “Everyone thinks you are the best teacher in the school.” “Thank you, Paul,” responded Mrs. O’Neill, “but what is the object?” “To get the best mark possible,” said Paul. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 11:52 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, August 8, 2014

capitalism

A man walks pass a beggar on the corner of the street where he works. The beggar holds out his one hand and the man drops a coin into his hand. One day the man walks pass the beggar again and notices the beggar is holding hold out both his hands. He asks: “Why are you holding out both of your... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 3:57 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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humorous tales from my life and jokes that I think will make you laugh

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