Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, September 24, 2012

Genie in the Lamp

There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, because he thought it was priceless. While he was running to the antique shop to cash this puppy in, it rubbed against his shirt. *POOF* A genie popped... Sign in to see full entry.

Bless this food...

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away. "Logan, wait until we say our prayer," his mother reminded him. "I don't have to," the little boy replied. "Of course you do," his mother insisted, "we say a prayer... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Deep thoughts

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. Sign in to see full entry.

Can I have some...

After having been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge, a real southern gentleman beckoned the waitress back and said quietly, "Miss, y'all sure are a luvly, luvly lady; can ah persuade y'all to give me a piece of ass?" "Lord, that's the most direct proposition I've ever had!" gasped the girl. Then... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Mmmmm

Ahhhhh my pretty Lean closer Let me whisper in your ear Mmmmmmmm Lavender he thinks As he inhaled the scent on her throat.. Love you he whispers And clasps the side of her face Sign in to see full entry.

Now who's the dummy?

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down.... Sign in to see full entry.

Ponder this...

1. Is there another word for synonym? 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 6.... Sign in to see full entry.

3 jokes for today #1

An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the... Sign in to see full entry.

mmmmmm #2

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Windows Recall #3

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.... Sign in to see full entry.