Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, April 24, 2014

oh lil johnny!

Little Johnny was at football practice one day and the coach said "Who here thinks they can jump higher than the goal posts" Immediately little Johnny said, "Ooh me sir me" The coach then said, "But Johnny you are the worst in the team!" Then Johnny said, "I know, but goalposts can’t jump!" Sign in to see full entry.

work

“How long have you been working here?” one employee asked to another. “Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.” Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

lil johnny is at it again

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?' Sign in to see full entry.

mom!

One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do." The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?" The little... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

lil johnny!

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The... Sign in to see full entry.

Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet paper roll? A: No one knows, it's never been done. Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

lil johnny on the loose again

The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in well last week." "Good Lord!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?" "He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped calling for help... Sign in to see full entry.

something to never to say

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

learning to count

A teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his 1 to 10 well "Yes! Of course! My pop taught me...even more than 10" "Good. What comes after three?” "Four," answers the boy. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your erm...dad did a good job. Now...so what comes after...lets... Sign in to see full entry.

did i say that?

The lawyer was cross-examining a witness. “Isn’t it true, “he bellowed, “that you were I given $500.00 to throw this case?” The witness did not answer. Instead, he just stared out the window as though he hadn’t heard the question. The attorney repeated himself, again getting the same reaction - no... Sign in to see full entry.