Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, July 19, 2014

3 irishmen

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. "Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, and God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87." "That's... Sign in to see full entry.

ask a dumb question

A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked: “What’s happening?” The runner replied breathlessly: “A lion has escaped from the zoo.” “Oh my, which way is it heading?” “Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you? Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 18, 2014

beer @ work

10 reasons why beer should be served at work 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It leads to more honest communications. 3. It reduces complaints about low pay. 4. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 5. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad... Sign in to see full entry.

scotch

A guy runs into the bar and says, "Quick, pour me 5 shots of your best scotch." The bartender pours them and the man drinks them as fast as he can. "Wow that's the fastest I've seen anyone drink," says the bartender. "Well you'd drink that fast if you had what I had," The man says "Oh my god," the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

go to heaven

Father Murphy walked into a pub in Donegal, and said to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Then leave this pub right now!" and approached a second man. "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then... Sign in to see full entry.

sobriety

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

puzzle

Two drunks were in a bar partying like fools. They were drinking boiler makers, buying rounds like there was no tomorrow. They were dancing, calling each other "professor," and generally causing quite a stir. When asked why such a celebration, they boasted that they just finished a jigsaw puzzle &... Sign in to see full entry.

tombstone

A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read: “Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man.” “How about that!” he exclaimed. “They’ve got three people buried in one grave.” Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 14, 2014

watch it!

Two drunken men were driving home. The first started screaming: - Jim, watch out for the wall, watch out for the waaaaall! Baaaaam! They hit the wall. The next day in the hospital the first man asked his friend: - You good for nothing, I've been screaming for you to watch out, why didn't you? Jim... Sign in to see full entry.

hey barkeep!

A man enters his local bar holding a frog and an iguana. He sets them down on the bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you $1000 that my frog here can sing any song you can think of." "Ok," says the bartender. "How 'bout 'Blue Moon'?" The man whispers something to the frog, and the frog starts... Sign in to see full entry.