Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, August 24, 2014

golfing

Hawk and Tom were talking in the bar. Hawk said," I just got kicked off the course for breaking 60." Tom looked at him, amazed. " Breaking 60? That's amazing!" Hawk smiled and said," Yeah, I never knew a golf cart could go that fast!" Sign in to see full entry.

in the park

Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines, and reeled in their catch. A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he new the other two.... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

what did...

What did the bison say to his son when he left for college? Bison Sign in to see full entry.

lost wallet

Selling at an auction was halted when the auctioneer announced, “Someone in the room has lost his wallet containing $2,000. He is offering a reward of $500.00 for its immediate return.” After a moment of silence, there was a call from the back of the room, “$550.00” Sign in to see full entry.

discussing the bill

What’s this daily charge for ‘fruit’? The hotel guess asked the manager. “We didn’t eat any.” “But the fruit was place in your room every day. It isn’t our fault you didn’t take advantage of it.” “I see,” said the man as he subtracted $150.00 from the bill “What are you doing”? Sputtered the... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

lil johnny strikes

Little Johnny was at football practice one day and the coach said "Who here thinks they can jump higher than the goal posts" Immediately little Johnny said, "Ooh me sir me" The coach then said, "But Johnny you are the worst in the team!" Then Johnny said, "I know, but goalposts can’t jump!" Sign in to see full entry.

barkeep

A guy walks into a bar, sits at the counter and said "Drinks, everybody on me, even you bar tender" on my tab. Every one got a drink and thanked the man. After a while he man said "Drinks, everybody on me, even you bar tender. Put it on my tab." Everybody got their drinks and thanked the man. The... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

baseball

A little boy knocks at the door and tells the owner that something of his had found its way into her garage, and he wanted it back. The homeowner opened the garage and noticed two additions; a baseball and broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole. “How do you suppose this ball got in here?” she... Sign in to see full entry.

cutesy names

Tom was invited to his friend’s house for dinner. He found that his buddy called his wife every cute name in the book: honey, darling, sweetheart, pumpkin, and baby. When she was in the kitchen, he leaned over to his friend and said, “I think it’s nice you still call your wife all those pet names.”... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, August 18, 2014

oh professor!

"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor, "Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?" "Elation." "And you, sir, how about the opposite of woe?" "I believe that would be giddy up..." Sign in to see full entry.