Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, June 30, 2014

complaint to baker

This man enters the bakery with a loaf of bread, "I bought this bread here, and it tastes bad." "What!" exclaimed the baker. "I've been baking bread for 25 years!" The man replies, "You should have sold it right away!" Sign in to see full entry.

i quit drinking

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are those machetes doing in your car?" asks the cop. "I juggle them in my act." "Oh, yeah? Says the doubtful cop. "Let's see you do it.” The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives. Another man driving by... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

what time?

Pilot: Control tower, what time is it? Control tower: What airline is this? Pilot: What difference does that make? Control tower: Well if it is UA, it is 6:00p.m.; if it is TWA, it is 1800 hours; if it is Ozark, the big hand is on the….. Sign in to see full entry.

holiday check in

Why is the mistletoe hanging over the baggage counter?” asked the airline passenger, amid the holiday rush. The clerk replied, “It’s so you can kiss your luggage good-bye.” Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

sound familiar?

A college student said to his mother, “I decided that I want to be a political science major and that I want to clean up the mess in the world!” “That is very nice,” muted his mother. “You can go upstairs and start with your room.” Sign in to see full entry.

story time

Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps, Bug-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants! I'm about to tell you a story I've never heard before, So pull up a chair and sit on the floor. Admission is free, so pay at the door. One fine day, in the middle of the night, two, dead boys got up to fight. Back to... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 27, 2014

computer convention

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal." Recently General Motors addressed this... Sign in to see full entry.

einstein

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks &... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

gotcha teach!

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I." MILLIE: I is... TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am." MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." Sign in to see full entry.

emergency landing

A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly looses engine power and the aircraft begins to decent. The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated and to keep the doors closed, stating that in emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to stay... Sign in to see full entry.