Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, July 20, 2014

snail

This snail crawls up to this bar as it was closing. The snail pounds and pounds on the door until the bartender finally opens the door. The bartender looks around and sees nothing until the snail demands a beer. The bartender looks down and sees him, but replies, "Hey, we're closed now and besides... Sign in to see full entry.

tap dancing duck

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

3 irishmen

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. "Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, and God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87." "That's... Sign in to see full entry.

ask a dumb question

A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked: “What’s happening?” The runner replied breathlessly: “A lion has escaped from the zoo.” “Oh my, which way is it heading?” “Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you? Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 18, 2014

beer @ work

10 reasons why beer should be served at work 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It leads to more honest communications. 3. It reduces complaints about low pay. 4. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 5. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad... Sign in to see full entry.

scotch

A guy runs into the bar and says, "Quick, pour me 5 shots of your best scotch." The bartender pours them and the man drinks them as fast as he can. "Wow that's the fastest I've seen anyone drink," says the bartender. "Well you'd drink that fast if you had what I had," The man says "Oh my god," the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

go to heaven

Father Murphy walked into a pub in Donegal, and said to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Then leave this pub right now!" and approached a second man. "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then... Sign in to see full entry.

sobriety

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

puzzle

Two drunks were in a bar partying like fools. They were drinking boiler makers, buying rounds like there was no tomorrow. They were dancing, calling each other "professor," and generally causing quite a stir. When asked why such a celebration, they boasted that they just finished a jigsaw puzzle &... Sign in to see full entry.

tombstone

A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read: “Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man.” “How about that!” he exclaimed. “They’ve got three people buried in one grave.” Sign in to see full entry.

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