Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, December 14, 2014

3 sisters

Three sisters age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses, then... Sign in to see full entry.

teacher!

“What did your mother do yesterday morning. Vicky?” “She done her shopping, ma’am.” “Done her shopping, Vicky? Where’s your grammar?” “She done her shopping as well, ma’am.” Sign in to see full entry.

job candidate

A candidate at a job interview was asked a tough question to which he mumbled an inaudible answer. The interviewer said "Come again?" The candidate got up, collected his file, went out of the room and came back again. Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

lingerie

A couple was at the mall and his wife decided to buy something for their daughter-in-law at an exclusive lingerie shop. Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place when a beautiful clerk asked if she could help him. In a cocky manner, he asked, “Where are all the men’s clothes?” In a demure... Sign in to see full entry.

twist

If pro is the opposite of con, what's the opposite of progress? Congress! Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 12, 2014

sign

Sign in a Police Station: It takes about 3500 bolts to put a car together; but only one nut to scatter it all over the road. Sign in to see full entry.

dentist

A sign posted in a Dentist's office said: "Please be nice to our dentists. They have fillings too." Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

groaner

A drunk was leaning against a lamppost staring up at a signboard and yelling, "It can't be done, it's too big! Another drunk staggered by and slurred, "What can't be done?" The other drunk answered. "What does that sign say, 'DRINK CANADA DRY'. "It's just too damn big, it can’t be done!" Sign in to see full entry.

how many drunks does it take?

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon." The other drunk stops and looks at his drunken friend, "You are wrong. That's not the moon, that's the sun." Both started arguing for a while when they came upon another drunk walking, so they... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

I can go where I want

A cocky State Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road." The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field." The Highways employee said, "I have the authority of the State Government to go where I... Sign in to see full entry.