Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, December 25, 2014

xmas shopping

On Christmas Eve, Nathan thought it would be nice to buy his wife a little gift for the next day. Always short of money, he thought long and hard about what that present might be' Unable to decide, Nathan entered Debenhams and in the cosmetics section he asked the girl, 'How about some perfume?' She... Sign in to see full entry.

xmas turkey

It was Christmas Eve in at the meat counter and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one. In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said, 'Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?' 'No, madam, 'he replied, 'they're all dead.' Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

xmas riddles

How many ears has Captain Kirk got? Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear. Ben Miller What do lions sing at Christmas? Jungle bells! When is a boat like a pile of snow? When it's adrift. How do snowmen get around? On their icicles. What does Santa call reindeer that don't work?... Sign in to see full entry.

drunk

A drunken man walked up to a parking meter and puts in some change. The meter goes up to sixty and he says, "Hey, I lost 100 pounds!" Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

reindeers

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the... Sign in to see full entry.

wish list

The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a Emily, young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?'... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 22, 2014

job interview

An executive was interviewing a young woman for a position in his company. He wanted to learn something about her personality, so he asked, "if you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?" She quickly responded, "The living one." Sign in to see full entry.

you know...

You Know you are Addicted to the Internet When... · You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved, and you don't have a clue when it happened. · Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like. · All of your friends have an @ in their names. ·... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

vampires on the town

Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. "What’ll be, boys?" The first vampire says "Blood. Give me blood." The second vampire says "I too wish for blood!" The third vampire says "Give me plasma." The Bartender smiles and says "Got... Sign in to see full entry.

tired man

A businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted. His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. "My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?" "It was... Sign in to see full entry.