Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, September 26, 2014

groaner!

Three guys from Jersey drove into the same Manhattan office each day via the Lincoln Tunnel. With gas prices rising, they decided to commute together, each one taking a turn driving in. One of them had to drop out though, because his eyes were bothering him. The optometrist told him he had developed... Sign in to see full entry.

Mr. Briggs

Mr. Briggs looked towards his secretary who was absorbed in painting her fingernails. “Miss Smith,” he said, “I’d like to compliment you on your work- but when are you going to do any?" reminds me of Tim Conway and Carol Burnett skit about Mrs. Sawiggins (not sure the correct spelling since he had... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

dirty hands

A teacher sees a lad entering the classroom – his hands were dirty. She stopped him and said, “John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?” Smiling the boy replied, “I think I’d be too polite to mention it.” Sign in to see full entry.

superbowl

John received a free ticket to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately. John's seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the stadium. He noticed an empty seat 10 rows up from the 50-yard line. He decides to make his way to the empty seat. As he sits down... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

teaching

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking... Sign in to see full entry.

oh judge!

A policeman brought four boys before a judge. "They were causing an awful lot of commotion at the zoo, your Honor," he said. "Boys," said the judge sternly, "I never like to hear reports of juvenile delinquency. Now I want each of you to tell me your name and what you were doing wrong." "My name is... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

groaner

Teacher: Why do we sometimes call the Middle Ages the Dark Ages? Peter: Because they had so many knights. Sign in to see full entry.

fighting

On the way to lunch, a teacher spotted two boys playfully fighting. She asked one of the boys to go to the back of the line and he came back right after.” Why aren't you at the end of the line?" asked the teacher. The boy replied," I couldn't, someone was already there." Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, September 22, 2014

ask a dumb question

A guy called a budget airline to book a flight. The operator asked: “How many people are traveling? “How should I know?” said the man. “It’s your plane!” Sign in to see full entry.

ladies and gentlemen

Upon boarding a recent flight from Newark to Atlanta and animated flight attendant began to the preparatory speech and safety instruction to the packed flight. Over the intercom he announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the main cabin door has been closed in preparation for departure. The captain now... Sign in to see full entry.