Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, January 5, 2015

inkblots

This guy went to see a highly recommend psychiatrist. The doctor showed the man an inkblot and asked, "What does this remind you of?" The guy replied, "A naked woman." Then the shrink showed the man another inkblot and asked the guy the same question. The guy responded, "A naked woman on a bed."... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

pick ups 2

Boy: Did you eat Lucky Charms this morning? Girl: No, why? Boy: Cause you're looking magically delicious! Sign in to see full entry.

pickups

Guy: Miss, do have a bandaid? Girl: Yes, why? Guy: Because I scraped my knees when I fell for you! Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Hey, you!” yelled the ranger to the small child. “Can’t you read that sign? No fishing in this river.” “I’m not fishing,” came the perky reply. “I’m teaching my worm how to swim!” Sign in to see full entry.

A cop pulls a young guy over: "Hello officer" said the smart aleck kid. "Young man did you see that stop sign?" asked the cop. Yup, but I didn't see you Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, January 2, 2015

translation of computer lingo

Explanation of Microsoft computer messages It says: "Press Any Key" It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving." It says: "Press A Key" (This one's a programmers joke. Nothing happens unless you press the "A" key.) It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no.... Sign in to see full entry.

hot air ballooning

Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. One of the three men says, "I have an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far enough for someone to hear us." So he leans over the basket and yells out, "Helllloooooo!... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

why

Q. Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas rather than through the door? A. Because it soot’s him! Sign in to see full entry.

santa

It's Christmas Eve and mom is busily preparing the last minute decorations in the family room when little Sally say: "Mom, don't forget to put out the treat for Santa next to the fireplace." Distracted, the mom thanks Sally and goes to the kitchen for Santa's treat. Later, when putting her to bed... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

rudolph

A man and his wife are sitting at the kitchen table, which is next to the window. The man's name is Rudolph, and since he is Russian, people call him "Rudolph the Red." Rudolph looked out the window and said to his wife, "Oh look honey, it's raining outside." She looks out as well and says, "No, I... Sign in to see full entry.