Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, December 20, 2014

vampires on the town

Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. "What’ll be, boys?" The first vampire says "Blood. Give me blood." The second vampire says "I too wish for blood!" The third vampire says "Give me plasma." The Bartender smiles and says "Got... Sign in to see full entry.

tired man

A businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted. His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. "My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?" "It was... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

oh lil johnny

The teacher was warning the class about the dangers of going to in cold weather insufficiently clad. “There was one a boy,” he said, “who was so eager to go out and play with his sled that he didn’t put a coat or scarf on; he caught a chill, the chill led to pneumonia and he died!” The teacher... Sign in to see full entry.

lil johnny at it again

"Lil Johnny, if you have 20 dollars and Bill takes away 14. What would you have?” said the teacher. "A fight!” answers Lil Johnny. Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

lil johnny

History Teacher: "Why was George Washington standing in the bow of the boat as the army crossed the Delaware?" Lil Johnny: "Because he knew if he sat down, he would have to row." Sign in to see full entry.

neighborhood troublemakers

Two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood. The people in the neighborhood started complaining to the parents about the boys. So the boys parents decided to have their priest talk to the boys. The priest asks to speak to the boys alone, requesting to see the youngest first.... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

priceless

A man not knowledgeable of antiques, or their history, was standing next to a woman who was looking at a century old painting. As she stood admiring the priceless painting she said to the man that the painting went back to Louie The Fourteenth. The man replied to her that that was nothing, that he... Sign in to see full entry.

- EVER WONDER - - Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? - - Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? - - Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? - - Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? - - Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? - -... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 15, 2014

polling

An elementary school teacher decides to pole the class on the difficulty of last night’s homework assignment: How many people were able to complete the assignment without parents help? About 25% of the class raises their hands. How many people we able to complete the assignment with the help of a... Sign in to see full entry.

lurning

“It’s no good, sir,” said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher, ‘I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other.” “Goes in both ears and out the other?” asked the puzzled teacher, “but you only have two ears, son.” “You see, sir,” I’m no good at math, either!” Sign in to see full entry.