Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, September 21, 2014

1990's

HOW YOU KNOW YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 1990's 1.) You tried to enter your password on the microwave. 2.) You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted." 3.) You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years. 4.) You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 5.)... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

oh Harry!

Harry had a bit of a drinking problem. Every night, after dinner, he took off for the local watering hole, spent the entire evening there and arrived home, well inebriated, around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife,... Sign in to see full entry.

blonde strikes again

As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, a nd she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 19, 2014

5 terrorists

Building Security has notified us that there have been 5 suspected terrorists working at our office. Four of the five have been apprehended. Bin Sleeping, Bin Loafing, Bin Gossiping, and Bin Surfing have been taken into custody. Security advised us that they could find no one fitting the description... Sign in to see full entry.

oldest profession

There was a doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist sitting around late one evening, and they discussed which the oldest profession was. The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

plane on fire

Q: If you are flying in an airplane and it catches on fire where do you go? A: In the news. Sign in to see full entry.

dinner time

It was dinner time on a British Airways flight from London to New York. As the flight attendant moved down the plane, she asked one of the passengers: “Would you like dinner?” “What are my choices?” asked the passenger. “Yes or No,” replied the attendant Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

knock knock

Knock, Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup to me if you can, I have your wallet Sign in to see full entry.

veggies

A corny talk on the farm... Do you know what the lettuce asked the radish? Let us be best friends? And what did the radish answer? You naughty thing, you make me blush! you make me reddish! Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

i wish...

A man found a brass lamp, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared. "For freeing me from the lamp, I will grant you any wish you desire," the genie said. The man replied, "I want a spectacular job. A challenge that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try." "Poof!" Said the genie.... Sign in to see full entry.