Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

next generation

A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his. “You grew up in a different world,” the student said. “Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, computers…” Taking advantage of a pause in the student’s litany,... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 29, 2014

tv

Things learned from TV: All crimes are solved in 1 hour. The Good guy always wins. When you’re trapped, you always find a way out. A trip from Los Angeles to China takes 5 seconds. All women still have makeup on when they wake up in the morning. When you’re a hero, you will never get burnt in a... Sign in to see full entry.

stranger in texas

One day, a cowboy rode into a Wild, Wild West town. The people in the town love to play jokes on visitors. After tying his horse to the pole outside a bar, the cowboy went in. "A cup of milk please." he said to the bartender. After drinking, he went out, only to find his horse missing. Knowing that... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

donations

Answering the phone, the priest was surprised to hear the caller introduce herself as an IRS auditor. “But we do not pay taxes,” the priest said. “It isn’t you, Father, it’s one of your parishioner, Sean McCullough. He indicates on his tax return that he gave a donation of $15,000 to the church last... Sign in to see full entry.

had it all

A man is complaining to a friend: “I had it all, money, a beautiful house, a nice car, a great motorcycle, the love of a beautiful woman. Then it was all gone!” “What happened?” asks the friend. “My wife found out!” replied the man. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

xmas shopping

On Christmas Eve, Nathan thought it would be nice to buy his wife a little gift for the next day. Always short of money, he thought long and hard about what that present might be' Unable to decide, Nathan entered Debenhams and in the cosmetics section he asked the girl, 'How about some perfume?' She... Sign in to see full entry.

xmas turkey

It was Christmas Eve in at the meat counter and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one. In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said, 'Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?' 'No, madam, 'he replied, 'they're all dead.' Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

xmas riddles

How many ears has Captain Kirk got? Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear. Ben Miller What do lions sing at Christmas? Jungle bells! When is a boat like a pile of snow? When it's adrift. How do snowmen get around? On their icicles. What does Santa call reindeer that don't work?... Sign in to see full entry.

drunk

A drunken man walked up to a parking meter and puts in some change. The meter goes up to sixty and he says, "Hey, I lost 100 pounds!" Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

reindeers

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the... Sign in to see full entry.