Hey, you!” yelled the ranger to the small child. “Can’t you read that sign? No fishing in this river.” “I’m not fishing,” came the perky reply. “I’m teaching my worm how to swim!” Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, January 3, 2015
A cop pulls a young guy over: "Hello officer" said the smart aleck kid. "Young man did you see that stop sign?" asked the cop. Yup, but I didn't see you Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, January 2, 2015
translation of computer lingo
Explanation of Microsoft computer messages It says: "Press Any Key" It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving." It says: "Press A Key" (This one's a programmers joke. Nothing happens unless you press the "A" key.) It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no.... Sign in to see full entry.
hot air ballooning
Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. One of the three men says, "I have an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far enough for someone to hear us." So he leans over the basket and yells out, "Helllloooooo!... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, January 1, 2015
why
Q. Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas rather than through the door? A. Because it soot’s him! Sign in to see full entry.
santa
It's Christmas Eve and mom is busily preparing the last minute decorations in the family room when little Sally say: "Mom, don't forget to put out the treat for Santa next to the fireplace." Distracted, the mom thanks Sally and goes to the kitchen for Santa's treat. Later, when putting her to bed... Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
rudolph
A man and his wife are sitting at the kitchen table, which is next to the window. The man's name is Rudolph, and since he is Russian, people call him "Rudolph the Red." Rudolph looked out the window and said to his wife, "Oh look honey, it's raining outside." She looks out as well and says, "No, I... Sign in to see full entry.
next generation
A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his. “You grew up in a different world,” the student said. “Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, computers…” Taking advantage of a pause in the student’s litany,... Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, December 29, 2014
tv
Things learned from TV: All crimes are solved in 1 hour. The Good guy always wins. When you’re trapped, you always find a way out. A trip from Los Angeles to China takes 5 seconds. All women still have makeup on when they wake up in the morning. When you’re a hero, you will never get burnt in a... Sign in to see full entry.
stranger in texas
One day, a cowboy rode into a Wild, Wild West town. The people in the town love to play jokes on visitors. After tying his horse to the pole outside a bar, the cowboy went in. "A cup of milk please." he said to the bartender. After drinking, he went out, only to find his horse missing. Knowing that... Sign in to see full entry.