Oh no you didn't!

Friday, October 19, 2012

A few jokes for weekend

Not sure how much I will be on the next few days....but off to DC after an all day meeting and then driving back next week...Have a wonderful weekend everyone....here's a few jokes to hold you over while I am gone...enjoy A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a... Sign in to see full entry.

MENSA or MUNSA?

Have you an unusual Intelligence? Do you find you lose interest in supposedly "Interesting movies"? It could be that you're one of the 5% of the population that has the mental capacity of a steaming turd! If so, you may want to join MUNSA - Mentally Unemployed and Noticeably Stupid Association. Try... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Dave's top 10 for baseball...

Top Ten Signs you're Not Watching a Real Baseball Team From Late Show with David Letterman; Monday, February 20, 1995 You recognize batter as the kid who sold you a hot dog a couple minutes earlier. Everytime a player slides into second, he busts his hip. They keep shouting "Do over!" When umpire... Sign in to see full entry.

There's your sign

A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there. A farmer replied, "Joe's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died." "Well," replied the man, "she must have had a lot of friends." "Nope," said... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

You are my inspiration

Hubby - You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Wife - When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Hubby - You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Wife - Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other... Sign in to see full entry.

For Men

WOMEN’S LANGUAGE TRANSLATED Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry. We need... = I want It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want... = You’ll pay for this later. We need to talk... = I need to complain Sure...go ahead = I don’t want you... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

A Bargain I Can't Pass Up!

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That... Sign in to see full entry.

I followed the directions to a T

According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated, "Wash. Biol. Surv." until the agency received the... Sign in to see full entry.

Quickies

Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, 'Bout what?" Where was the toothbrush invented? Oklahoma. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush. Why did God invent armadillos? So that rednecks can have... Sign in to see full entry.

Wanna buy a frog?

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks... Sign in to see full entry.

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