Oh no you didn't!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Outwitting the po leece!

One day, two rednecks named Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of Buds. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead Earl, it's a po-leece roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!" "Don't worry Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish... Sign in to see full entry.

Ahhhhhh Peace!

A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. An Irish cop pulls him over and asks, "Where have you been?" "I've been to the pub," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

True Blonde Story

The son didn't care to go to Venture to buy his mother some yarn she needed to finish her current project. He told his wife to go instead. The MIL showed her a ball of the yarn color she needed. Off she went to Venture to buy the yarn. She looked and looked all through the store but couldn't find... Sign in to see full entry.

Wait 10 minutes...

A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy's name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, "I'm sorry, I don't see your name written in the Book." "How current is your... Sign in to see full entry.

Better than she thought!

The rescue squad was called to the home of an elderly couple for an apparent heart attack the gentleman had. When the squad got there is was too late and the man had died. While consoling the wife one of the rescuers noticed that the bed was a mess. He asked the lady what symptoms the man had... Sign in to see full entry.

Men Suck

Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? - Women working at 900 numbers. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner? - In the pages of a romance novel. What do... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Bragging Rights

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous." The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry... Sign in to see full entry.

Romeo where fore art thou?

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway. Yo're as... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, October 1, 2012

I don't know much about biology...

A farmer bought some breeding pigs, but after several weeks, not one was pregnant. He called the vet for help. "Why don't you try artificial insemination" said the vet. The farmer didn't have an inkling of what artificial insemination was, but, not wanting to appear ignorant, he said, "Okay, Doc,... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

A Prayer Answered...

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His... Sign in to see full entry.

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