The Flatliner Diaries

By saul_relative - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Anybody Watch "Last Comic Standing"?

I love the NBC reality show "Last Comic Standing". It's a little rough at times, but, overall, it's pretty reliable as a funny show. Tonight, the season's finale crowned this year's "Last Comic." Jon Reep, the pride of Hickory, North Carolina (since the furniture plant closed, they've been looking... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Winner Of The Punch Line Before The Joke Award

I was sitting watching Numb3rs awhile ago, when a promo for the 11 o'clock news came on. The announcer said, "Dope-dealing granny busted. We'll tell you why at eleven." I sat there and laughed. Uh...Duh...You just told me why, there, non-proofreading moron announcer person. She's a dope-dealer!!!... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

No Way Were Sara Silverman's Jokes To Blame For Britney's Botch Job

No, there's absolutely no proof that Sara Silverman's jokes could have caused Britney Spears' terrible performance, even if Britney had heard them before going on stage. They weren't that funny. Speaking of which, now, there was something for Kanye West to complain about -- that nonfunny white bitch... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Have They Reached The Bottom Of The Barrell For "Gate"-isms?

The Senator Larry Craig scandal has sparrked some lively debate on ethics, some questionable actions, and hypocritical behavior, but nothing extremely damning (except on a professional and personal level for Craig -- maybe that is "extremely damning" after all). But the media has labeled it... Sign in to see full entry.

Maybe It's Just Me, But I Thought This Sounded Funny

The other day on Lou Dobbs Tonight, after a report from the Washington, Lou said, "Jessica Yellin from Capitol Hill." And the kneejerk thought immediately came to mind, "Give the woman a microphone and she won't have to yell." Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Bush Makes A Surprise Visit To Iraq...

Yeah, Bush suddenly appears in Iraq on a surprise trip to... do what? The country's falling apart. Maybe he went over there to personally pick up his dividends check from Haliburton... The White House states that Bush's trip is to get a first-hand assessment of the political and military situation... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Michael Vick Found Jesus!! He Was His Copilot In The Stretch Limo!!!

Funny how everybody getting anywhere near a judgment finds Jesus. Need a crutch? Find Jesus. Need a dodge? Find Jesus. Need absolution? Find Jesus. Need parole? Find Jesus. Need a gardener? Find Jesus. Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

And You Thought George Bush Was Powerful...

GQ magazine named Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice as the most powerful person in Washington. As opposed to whom? Her hair stylist? Her dentist? Who knew the population of Washingtion was so few? Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The Disclaimers In Commercials Epidemic

My favorite scare-the-hell-outta-ya commercial on TV now is the one about meth labs. You know, the one where the guy is looking out his window at a hummingbird and suddenly gets blown back into his house? I'm so well conditioned by our disclaimer-saturated society that I was looking for a "No... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 18, 2007

"What Can You Tell Us About This Developing Crisis In The Middle East?"

I heard a news anchor say the above earlier today, and all I could think was: "Developing? When has the Middle East not been in crisis?" They're always fighting, have always been fighting. Crisis? There's always a crisis, mega to mini... "Hey, Abdul, I must kill you, for the sand on the sole of your... Sign in to see full entry.

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