The Flatliner Diaries

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Keith Richards Snorts Own Father

A strange headline, but not too shocking. That is, it's not so shocking if you've followed the career of Keith Richards, one of rock's original party animals and wild men. And the headline is true. Richards told the British magazine NME, "The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

A Note On Bush's Visit To Guatemala

One of the stops on Bush's little pan-American trip in these next few days is Guatemala. Scheduled to take place is a visit by the president to some ancient Mayan temple ruins. Paul Harvey reported yesterday that Mayan priests will be on hand to purify the venerated site - after the president... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

In Case You Missed My Previous Post, Here's Another Mind Number

I am currently attending online courses. The professor posts your assignments in chat spaces called forums. You are free to add to the threads (the initial posts and their subsequent string or "thread" of replies) and ask questions about said threads or anything else. The professor, in our second... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

A True Conversation

This is a conversation I had with an employee the other night: Me: "I am so distracted, sometimes I think I've got ADD. Hell, everybody's got. If Oprah can have ADD, then so can I." Employee: "Do you think I got ADD?" Me: "Nah. You don't have ADD; you got DUM." After giggling, the employee says, I... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

If You're Southern, Then This Should Sound All Too Familiar

"Northerners are rude, they talk funny, they are lousy drivers and have bad taste." Sound familiar, southern boy (or girl)? Sounds just like something that would be said about a Yankee. Yet, this line was taken from the hook line for a CNN story about Vietnam. Yeah, sad but true. Wherever you are in... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, February 23, 2007

No, You Talk To The Foreigner...

My fiancee relayed this story to me: An altercation had arisen at her workplace, leaving several people a bit miffed. When one of the associates tried to apologize to the offended party, she was rebuffed. Not knowing what to do, she told my fiancee that she didn't know what else to do. My fiancee,... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

In the tradition of bad lines and bloopers, the weatherman on the particular broadcast I was watching stated: "Looking at tonight's weather, well, we see that the skies are dark..." At 11:05 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, I'd be more than a little worried if they weren't... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Where Are You Located?

How many times have you answered the phone at your place of employment and, after the standard greeting ("Hello, business name, your name, what can I do for you?"), heard the person on the other end ask: "Where are you located?" My immediate response is: "About a hundred feet inside the store." To... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, January 29, 2007

The One Thing Invading Iran Would Certainly Do For The President:

It would stop all those jokes about invading the wrong country because he got the last letter wrong. Hell of a way to correct a spelling error, though, huh? Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

I Can't Get The Subject Of My Self-Portrait To Stop Talking To Me...

My 12-year-old step-son informed the family over dinner that in his art class he would soon be drawing a self-portrait of himself. Not being able to resist, I asked him how many self-portraits had he done of other people. He held up three fingers. "You've done three self-portraits of other people?"... Sign in to see full entry.

Page: << First  < Previous  .. 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11 ..  Next > Last >> 

Headlines (What is this?)

Referrals - About Us - Press - Terms of Use - Privacy Policy - Conduct Policy
Copyright © 2019 Shaycom Corporation. All rights reserved.