I like telling dad jokes. Sometimes he even laughs. If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done. Archaeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it. To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find... Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, May 12, 2026
Monday, May 11, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread. An engineer, a chemist, and an economist are marooned on a desert island. They start to brainstorm a way off the island. The engineer... Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, May 9, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
A physicist, a mathematician and an engineer stay in a hotel. The engineer is awakened by a smell and gets up to check it. He finds a fire in the hallway, sees a nearby fire extinguisher and after extinguishing it, goes back to bed. Later that night, the physicist gets up, again because of the smell... Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, May 8, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
"A man walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say, 'Nice tie!' Looking around, he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender at the end of the bar. A few sips later, the voice said, 'Beautiful shirt.' At this, the... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, May 7, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?” I invented a new word! “Plagiarism!” Did you hear about the actor who fell... Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, May 6, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every play has a cast. Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. “Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.” Hear about the new restaurant... Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, May 5, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition? Because it was cultured. What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? Re-Morse code. Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar? They each got six months. Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank the coffee before it was cool.... Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, May 4, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
What do you call a train carrying bubblegum? A chew-chew train. What’s small and red and has a rough voice? A hoarse radish! Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties? Because they are such fungis. Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears. Why couldn’t the bad sailor learn... Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, May 3, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy. Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I’m excited to see how they turn out. My colleague can no longer attend next week’s Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead. I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite... Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, May 2, 2026
Here's Your Daily Groan!
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach? Because they might peel! What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milk shake! Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies! How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed? Your head hits the ceiling! What do you call... Sign in to see full entry.