Mag's Bag

By MaggieMae - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, August 13, 2007

Tell Me This Won't Happen To Us! ............

LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES: An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Laws of Life..........................................

Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to go to the bathroom. Law of the Workshop Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Thought you might enjoy these, I did..................................

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. To write with a broken pencil is pointless. When fish are in schools they sometimes take... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Toxicity of Raisins On Dogs......................................

=============================================== FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS A DOG, OR FOR THOSE WHO KNOW FRIENDS OR FAMILY THAT HAVE A DOG, PLEASE READ THIS! MM Written by: Laurinda Morris, DVM Danville Veterinary Clinic Danville, Ohio This week I had the first case in history of raisin toxicity ever seen... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

This is a good one.............................

Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine there to transport him to his home. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver. "You know" he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never driven a... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

So You Think You Know Everything?....................

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING? "Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right. ( Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you. ) Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. ( I'll bet you're going to check this out, there's gotta be... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 27, 2007

What Does Love Mean (4 to 8-year-olds)

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. What does Love mean? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Ponderisms (food for thought).............

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. The easiest way to... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 20, 2007

You Know You Are Living In 2007 when.............

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Dog Philosophy...............

There is more truth than poetry in some of the sayings The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. -Anonymous Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. -Ann Landers If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want... Sign in to see full entry.

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