Mag's Bag

By MaggieMae - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, November 11, 2007

The frog needs a loan......................................

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger,... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Growing Old............................................

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.." The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Hi, Everybody...

I just want you to know that I'm out of that hospital and I'm ok. I meant to let you know yesterday, but I slept through it. hahaha I guess I had a TIA (mini stroke) and it affected my speech (my husband says I talk too much anyway). They did an angiogram, thinking my carotid artery was blocked, but... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, October 29, 2007

"Yee Haw"..................................................

Two guys from Arkansas were having the blue plate special at their favorite diner, when they heard this awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing down a 'possum burger too fast. The first hillbilly said to the other, "Think we otta'... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Riding the Rails.................................

*Exchange between irate passenger and Larnrod Eireann, the Irish Railway company.* *Gentlemen, **I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Aha! This explains some things................................

Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Shall we pick on the blondes this morning.?........................

A blonde goes into a Starbucks and notices there's a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup. So she peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!" The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize we offer is a free lunch." But the blonde keeps on... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Hot Chocolate Cups..................

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

If you don't laugh at this one, there' no hope for you.....................

Little Katy Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Katy, who was only 3 years old, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he delivered the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Airline Cabin Announcements - good humor...........

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were... Sign in to see full entry.

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