Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, December 10, 2012

Ideas for new children's books

HERE ARE SOME CHILDREN BOOKS THAT WILL NEVER BE PUBLISHED: --------------------------------------- "You Were an Accident" "Strangers Have the Best Candy" "The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!" "When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know... Sign in to see full entry.

Nudist Vacation

Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says..."Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber... Sign in to see full entry.

All I want for Christmas

A little girl goes to visit Santa at the Mall. When it is her turn she sits on his lap and Santa says "Have you been good?" Little Girl, "Yes, Santa, very good." Santa, "What would you like for Christmas?" Little Girl, "I want Barbie and G. I. Joe." Santa, "G. I. Joe? Doesn't Barbie come with Ken?... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

God is watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. A nun made a note and posted it on the apple tray: "Take only ONE……God is watching." Further along the line, at the other end of the table, was a large pile of... Sign in to see full entry.

Be a gentleman

Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady." "Well, you've done the right thing," says Mommy "But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap." Sign in to see full entry.

most wanted

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to the local police station, where they saw pictures of the 10 Most Wanted men tacked to a bulletin board. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The... Sign in to see full entry.

My momma told me

Little Johnny, Billy and Tommy were walking home from school one warm spring day. As they were cutting through the alleys and backyards, they happened to look through a hole in the fence of one of the yards where a woman was sunbathing in the nude. As they looked through the hole, Johnny suddenly... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Why did you name us these names?

This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. "Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named "Mighty Storm"? "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm." "Why is my sister named "Cornflower"? "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield, when we made her." "And why is... Sign in to see full entry.

Making a puppy

Mom and Dad were taking young Billy for a walk through the park one sunny afternoon when all of a sudden, in the bushes a short distance away, Billy spots two dogs going at it. Billy says, "Daddy, what are they doing?" The dad responds after some quick thinking, "Why son, their making a puppy."... Sign in to see full entry.

Frog noise

A six year old goes to the hospital with his grandma to visit his grandpa. When they get to the hospital, he runs ahead of his grandma and bursts into his grampa's room. "Grampa, Grampa," he says excitedly, "as soon as grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!" "What?" said his grandpa.... Sign in to see full entry.