Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Unusual laws worldwide

"No clergyman shall tell a funny story from the pulpit" (West Virginia). In Atlanta, GA, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp. Federal law forbids recycling used eyeglasses in the United States. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood... Sign in to see full entry.

Poor monica

Monica L. had taken some clothes in to be cleaned. The attendant was an old man, hard of hearing. She was telling the man what she wanted, and was holding a dress while talking. The old man put a hand up to his ear, and said, "Come again?" "No," said Monica, "It's mustard this time!" Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 21, 2012

911

Holidays around a police precinct are always lively, especially in the 911 areas. One particular night, a drunk calls in, and the following communication began: "911, what is your emergency?" "Osifer, I've been robbed!" "Can you be more specific sir?" "Osifer, someone stole my steering wheel, my gas... Sign in to see full entry.

Men answering our questions

A MAN'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS? It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all the bitching... Sign in to see full entry.

Barkeep's prayer

Our lager, which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we forgive those who spill against us, and lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us form hangovers, For thine is the beer, The... Sign in to see full entry.

How to impress

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: Compliment her cuddle her kiss her caress her love her stroke her tease her comfort her protect her hug her hold her spend money on her wine & dine her buy things for her listen to her care for her stand by her support her go to the ends of the earth for her.... HOW TO... Sign in to see full entry.

Roadkill

A truck driver frequently traveled through a small town where there was a courthouse at the side of the road. Of course, there were always lawyers walking along the road. The truck driver made it a practice to hit any pedestrian lawyers with his truck as he sped by. One day, he spotted a priest... Sign in to see full entry.

Punishment

A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being taken to his place of eternal torment, he passed a room where a lawyer was having an intimate encounter with a beautiful young woman. "What a ripoff," the man muttered. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a... Sign in to see full entry.

Which would you rather operate on?

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything is numbered. The second surgeon responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

oooooooooooooo that's where they come from!

A woman goes to her doctor and says, "Doctor, my husband has developed a penchant for anal sex. So I came to you for advice." "Ok, let's see...does it hurt you?" "Hmmmm.. a little." "Do you like it?" "Hmmm..... well, yes." "Then, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't do it. If you take care about... Sign in to see full entry.