Blogit > Oh no you didn't!

Early bird shopping

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant. "That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened." Sign in to see full entry.

Army of the lord

Jack was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. The preacher grabbed Jack by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, 'You need to join the Army of the Lord!' Jack replied, 'I'm already in the Army of the... Sign in to see full entry.

What is a stable?

Every Christmas morning, when my kids were little, I read them the nativity story out of the big family bible. When my son was old enough to talk, he asked me what a stable was. I thought for a moment how to explain it to him in terms he could understand, then told him, "It's something like your... Sign in to see full entry.

Mob Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, Da whole house was mella, Not a creature was stirrin', Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla. When up on da roof I heard somethin' pound, I sprung to da window, To scream, "YO! Keep it down!" When what to my Wanderin' eyes should appear, But da Don of all elfs, And eight... Sign in to see full entry.

powerful bush

A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference: "Many say the only reason you were elected for President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father." "That notion is ridiculous!" mocked George Jr. "It doesn't matter how powerful the man is. He was only allowed to vote... Sign in to see full entry.

god's letter

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush. The President was so impressed, touched, and... Sign in to see full entry.

einstein, picasso and bush

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?" Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some... Sign in to see full entry.

presidential test

The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question... Sign in to see full entry.

Unusual laws worldwide

"No clergyman shall tell a funny story from the pulpit" (West Virginia). In Atlanta, GA, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp. Federal law forbids recycling used eyeglasses in the United States. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood... Sign in to see full entry.

Poor monica

Monica L. had taken some clothes in to be cleaned. The attendant was an old man, hard of hearing. She was telling the man what she wanted, and was holding a dress while talking. The old man put a hand up to his ear, and said, "Come again?" "No," said Monica, "It's mustard this time!" Sign in to see full entry.

Oh no you didn't!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012