Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, December 16, 2013

More deep thoughts

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him - Is he still wrong? What do they call a coffee break at the Lipton Tea Company? If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, where does baby oil come from? If quitters never win and winners never quit,... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Ponder this!

Is there another word for synonym? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? Sign in to see full entry.

Respect

Yesterday at work someone was playing their ipod. Aretha Franklin was one of the artists. The song Respect came on and of course no one can sing it like Aretha. One of the younger guys asked who it was. That's Aretha Franklin. "Uretha Franklin? " We all started laughing. Molly said "No Uretha is... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Oh Doc says the blonde

"I can't find a cause for your illness," the doctor said. "Frankly, I think it's due to drinking.""In that case," replied his blonde patient, "I'll come back when you are sober." Sign in to see full entry.

A few deep thoughts to ponder

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say? What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way? What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious? Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Lol You Aussies are quite funny! (involves sex)

Aussies have condom commercial banned from tv but not the net! http://www.shockmansion.com/2013/12/10/video-australian-condom-commercial-gets-banned-but-thankfully-the-internet-doesnt-care-about-the-law/ Sign in to see full entry.

brush

An army Major visiting sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir" "Good man." says the Major. He goes to... Sign in to see full entry.

nursing home

At a nursing home a group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments. "My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee." "I couldn't even mark an 'X' at election time,... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

cough

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle... Sign in to see full entry.

old man

A well dressed, debonair man in his mid nineties enters an upscale cocktail lounge and finds a seat next to a good looking, younger woman in her mid eighties, at the most. Trying to remember his best pick-up line, he says, "So tell me, do I come here often?" Sign in to see full entry.