Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

spelling test

A woman who died found herself standing outside the Pearly Gates, being greeted by St. Peter. She asked him, "Oh, is this place what I really think it is? It's so beautiful. Did I really make it to heaven?" To which St. Peter replied, "Yes, my dear, these are the Gates to Heaven. But you must do one... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

love

“I thought you were going to marry Eddie? You said it was love at first sight.” “It was – it was the second and third sights that put me off him.” Sign in to see full entry.

Corporate dictionary for today

CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 24, 2014

star athlete in training

With his ball and bat in hand Little Pete walked to home plate in an empty baseball field. As he threw the ball up in the air, he announced, “I am the best ball player ever!” He swung with all his power, but missed. He did the same thing and missed again. He picked up the ball, tossed it up one more... Sign in to see full entry.

diapers

Why did the woman only change her baby’s diaper once a month? On the package it read "good for up to 15 pounds" Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Playing with words

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they’d by bagels Q. What do you call a ginger bread man with one leg? A. Limp biscuit Sign in to see full entry.

church isn't what it used to be

A drunk was staggering down the main street of town. Somehow, he managed to make it up the stairs to the cathedral and into the building, where he crashed from pew to pew. He finally made his way to a side aisle and into a confessional. A priest had been observing the man's sorry progress. Figuring... Sign in to see full entry.

cats and dogs

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

ain't love grand?

“May I go swimming, Mommy?” “No, you may not. There are sharks here.” “But Daddy’s swimming.” “He’s insured.” Sign in to see full entry.

your uncle

Tim asked Bob “What happened to your uncle’s boat?” “Ever notice that big rock at the entrance to the Golden Gate?” said Bob. “Yes, I have” replied Tim. “Well, he didn’t” said Bob. Sign in to see full entry.