Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, January 30, 2014

shy man

A shy man was feeling a little lucky and decided to ask the subdued provocative Librarian about seduction as he tended to be oblique in his intentions. “Do you have any books on women seducing men?'' The Librarian answered without hesitation '' Why yes" she murmured. Most likely found in the ''... Sign in to see full entry.

smart

Q. How do you know when a man is going to say something smart? A. It will start with "She said..." Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

a la barry

A man sees a beautiful woman. Approaching her, and in his coolest Barry White tone says: " If good looks where a minute, you would be an hour" The woman looks deep into the man's eyes and in her sexiest voice replies: "If good looks were within your reach, you wouldn’t have any arms." Sign in to see full entry.

adam

Q: Why was Adam the happiest man ever lived? A: Because he was the only man without a mother-in-law Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

what if?

A women’s lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, “Where would man be today if it were not for woman?” She paused a moment and looked around the room. “I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?” From the back of the room came a voice, “He’d be in the Garden of Eden... Sign in to see full entry.

impressing

To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said. "Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That"s the owner." Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

dining out

A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells them the night's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. "The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," the woman says. The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks. "Oh, he'll have the fish," she replies. Sign in to see full entry.

dog in the car

Pulling into the crowded parking lot at the shopping center rolled down the car windows to make sure my puppy had fresh air. She was stretched full out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

st louis symphony

A year ago, Hans Vonk conducted the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra in a production of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. During the final movement of Beethoven's Ninth, there is a large pause in the Orchestration where only the chorus sings. Four bass players, feeling they could use this break to get out and... Sign in to see full entry.

looools

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy... Sign in to see full entry.