Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, July 6, 2014

bad news

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight,... Sign in to see full entry.

shingles

A man walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied, "I got shingles." She said, "Fill out this form and supply your name, address, medical insurance number. When you're done, please take a seat." Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

old flame

A college friend was going to meet a young lady he new. "An old flame? I asked. He winked and said, "More like an unlit match." Sign in to see full entry.

pun time

Two snails went to an auto race. There were twenty six cars, so instead of numbers the cars were identified by letters from A to Z. As the race started, the S car quickly sped away from the trailing pack of cars. Seeing this, the one snail said to the other, "Hey, look at that S car go!" Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 4, 2014

pie

College meals are generally unpopular with those who have to eat them – and sometimes with good reason. “What kind of pie do you call this?” asked one student indignantly. “What’s it taste like?” asked the cook.” “Glue!” “Then it’s apple pie – the plum pie tastes like soap.” Sign in to see full entry.

college student

A college student said to his mother, “I decided that I want to be a political science major and that I want to clean up the mess in the world!” “That is very nice,” muted his mother. “You can go upstairs and start with your room.” Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Gotta wing it!

A businessman finds that his neighbor in the first class cabin of his flight is a parrot. They take off and the flight attendant asks what they would like to drink. "Glenlivet on the rocks with a twist," says the parrot. The businessman orders a coke. After waiting two or three minutes, the bird... Sign in to see full entry.

Chewing gum helps

Pilot: Have you ever flown in a small plane before? Passenger: No, I have not. Pilot: Well, here is some chewing gum. It will help to keep your ears from popping. Pilot (after the plane landed): Did the gum help? Passenger: Yep. It worked fine. The only trouble is I can’t get the gum out of my ears. Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

it's pun time!

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty,... Sign in to see full entry.

at the zoo

This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide. They tell this guy that they'll pay him well if he would dress up in the gorillas skin and pretend to be the gorilla so... Sign in to see full entry.