teacher
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog. Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, October 13, 2014
groaner
“What did your mother do yesterday morning. Vicky?” “She done her shopping, ma’am.” “Done her shopping, Vicky? Where’s your grammar?” “She done her shopping as well, ma’am.” Wait for it...wait for it...duh! Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
where did you go to high school?
Somehow we always think we are aging at a slower rate than everyone else, this was true of this older woman who is seeing a doctor for the first time. She was taken into a room and told to “make herself comfortable.” While reading the doctor's diploma on the wall, she realizes that she went to high... Sign in to see full entry.
I know!
Wife: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.” Husband: “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.” Wife: “I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.” Husband: “You don’t even know what a carburetor is. Where’s the car?” Wife: “In the swimming pool." Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, October 11, 2014
skunks
A family of skunks was trapped in a thicket, surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves that were edging even closer. The Mother skunk calmly instructed her young: "Quickly children, let's put our heads together!" After they obeyed, forming a circle, she continued, "Now—Let us spray! " Sign in to see full entry.
honey...
A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing. "Why don't you do that?" said the wife. "Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!" Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, October 10, 2014
another groaner for halloween
One Halloween a man was walking down the street and heard a thumping noise behind him. Looking behind him he saw a coffin following him, upright. He was a bit nervous and began walking a little bit faster. The coffin continued, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump". He began running and the coffin kept... Sign in to see full entry.
groaner...cute though
Q. What did the fish say when it swam into the wall? A. Dam! Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
daily paper
A professor of English and the editor of the local newspaper had many friendly arguments. One Friday evening the professor was walking out of a local club with a bottle of whiskey wrapped in that day’s newspaper. “Oh!” said the editor, who was walking past. “Looks like there’s something interesting... Sign in to see full entry.
lawyer at the gates
A famous lawyer, who had been a public defender for years, dies. He finds himself standing at the back of an enormous queue outside the gates of Heaven. The queue before him is enormous. The number of people who die in a single day appalls him. He can barely see St Peter sitting up on a podium... Sign in to see full entry.