Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, January 19, 2015

farmer and wife

This farmer had a wife who nagged him all the time. One day while he was outside plowing the field, she came out and started nagging him. While she was doing this, the mule kicked her and she died. At the funeral, the ladies came up and talked to the farmer. The farmer nodded his head "yes". The men... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused... Sign in to see full entry.

A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to pray for them. "I'm going on a sabbatical to Rome," he replied, "and while I'm there, I'll light a candle for you." When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple's house and found the wife pregnant,... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

taxes

The income tax expert was visiting the school to talk about taxes. “I’m going to tell you now about “indirect” taxes. Can anybody tell me what an indirect tax is?” “A dog license,” said Smart Josh. “And why is that?” asked the expert. “The dog doesn’t pay it,” replied Josh Sign in to see full entry.

artist

A woman visited a modern-art gallery. One painting was bright blue with vivid orange swirls and the one hanging next to it was black with lime-green splotches. The artist stood nearby, so as politely as she could, the woman said to him, "I'm sorry, but I just don't understand you paintings." "I... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, January 16, 2015

How many women have heard this one?

Guy: Miss, do have a bandaid? Girl: Yes, why? Guy: Because I scraped my knees when I fell for you Sign in to see full entry.

Five cannibals(Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees". The cannibals... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

making a dr appt

Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. “I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks.” “But I could be dead by then!” “No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment.” Sign in to see full entry.

groaner

I think everybody misses the groaners....so without further ado... A corny talk on the farm... Do you know what the lettuce asked the radish? Let us be best friends? And what did the radish answer? You naughty thing, you make me blush! you make me reddish Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

parameters

"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor, "Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?" "Elation." "And you, sir, how about the opposite of woe?" "I believe that would be giddy up..." Sign in to see full entry.