Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

3 wishes

A man was walking on the beach one day and he found a bottle half buried in the sand. He decided to open it. Inside was a genie. The genie said,” I will grant you three wishes and three wishes only." The man thought about his first wish and decided, “I think I want 1 million dollars transferred to a... Sign in to see full entry.

skydiving

There was a student that had a chance to learn the sport of skydiving. After having been instructed by his teacher he jumped out and forgot how to release his shoot. As he was falling rapidly towards earth, he suddenly saw a man shooting up towards him and as the man passed by, the student yelled!... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 2, 2015

student driver

I pride myself on being patient when teaching driver education, something I have done for 30 years. I have encountered many, many students, who didn't seem to be able to hit the floor with their hat. But one incident was just too much. I had a sweet young thing behind the wheel for the first lesson... Sign in to see full entry.

florist

A new business was opening, and one of the owner’s friends sent flowers for the occasion. But when the owner read the card with the flowers, it said. “Rest in Peace” The owner was little upset and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist about the obvious mistake, the florist... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

oh lil johnny!

Teacher: Today is the first day of the school, any questions? Lil Johnny: Yes, when will the Holidays start? Sign in to see full entry.

“Will you love me when I’m old and ugly?” “Darling, of course I do.” Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 31, 2015

car wreck

A blonde was driving home on the freeway after work when she was hit by a hailstorm that left her car completely dented all over. She decided to go to a body shop and asked the owner how much he would charge to remove the dents. Seeing that she was an antartian, he winked at his partner, and told... Sign in to see full entry.

Why!

Timothy:Why are you catching so many fleas? Mike:Didn't you see the Notice Board? There's going to be a Flea Market at our Apartment Lobby tomorrow morning. Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, January 30, 2015

ask a dumb question

Teacher: If you had 20p in one trouser pocket and 60p in the other, what do you have? Pupil: Someone else’s trousers, miss. Sign in to see full entry.

you can fly!

At a construction site on the 80th floor of a high rise building, the lone conservative on the crew was having a heated political discussion with the liberals on the project. Deciding to take a break, he called everyone over to the edge of the roof. "Did you know," he began, "that there are... Sign in to see full entry.