Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, February 20, 2015

for all the cat lovers

Day 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 1:22 AM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

where are you?

A man was walking down the street when he came across a body lying on the sidewalk. He ran to a phone and called 911. The operator asked him where he was and the man replied, “I’m on Sycamore Drive.” “How do you spell that?” the operator asked. “S-i-c-k…” the man began. “No, s-i-c-a…..” no,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 1:21 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, February 19, 2015

2 trains

A brilliant young boy was applying for a job with the railways. The interviewer asked him: "Do you know how to use the equipment?" "Yes", the boy replied. "Then what would you do if you realized that 2 trains, one from this station and one from the next were going to crash because they were on the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:59 AM | add or view comments (12) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

go eat

After a hard day of drilling, the drill sergeant let the troops go. "All right, you idiots, report to the mess hall." Everybody walked away, sweating and their heads down, thankful for the end of the hard day. Only one private remained. He looked at the officer and sincerely said, "Boy, there sure... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:56 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

curiosity

A guy is passing a Mental Hospital surrounded by a wall and he hears the chanting inside, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! Curious to see what’s going on he finds a small hole in the wall, so he bends and peeks inside. Someone inside pokes him hard in the eye and everyone starts inside chanting,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:32 AM | add or view comments (9) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

only in the usa

Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:30 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

knock

Tony was a pianist and was practicing late one night. There was a tap on the door, when he opened it his landlord was standing outside the door. He asked; “do you know there is a sick lady upstairs?" Tony answered, “no, I haven’t heard that song. Can you please hum it a little?" Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 6:33 AM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

There once was a dog named Tax. I opened the door and income Tax. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 6:31 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, February 16, 2015

President's day joke

"These stories about my intellectual capacity really get under my skin. You know, for a while I even thought my staff believed it. There on my schedule first thing every morning it said, 'Intelligence Briefing.'" GWB Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 7:06 AM | add or view comments (10) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

President's day joke

“We’re studying safe levels for arsenic in drinking water. To base our decision on sound science, the scientists told us we needed to test the water glasses of about 3,000 people. Thank you for participating.” —At the 2001 Radio-Television Correspondents’ Association dinner George W Bush Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 7:05 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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humorous tales from my life and jokes that I think will make you laugh

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